Charlotte’s decision to marry the exceedingly awkward Mr. Collins, goes against the principle of knowing one’s happiness! Yet many women who, in their academic critique, blogs and articles, say that Charlotte was practical in her choice. Let’s discuss this a little more.
First point: It’s easy, at first glance, to agree that Charlotte was “just” being pragmatic and therefore adopted the “desperate times call for desperate measures” mode of action. Obviously, so many people marry for money that it’s almost too common to kvetch about. Yet the same can be said about gold-diggers, and those “doing the best they can for themselves” category! And this is just the beginning of what’s wrong with Charlotte’s decision.
In Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen is going to compare what we might call, the “marriage philosophy” of Lizzie with her friend, Charlotte, whose acceptance of Mr. Collins’ proposal deeply shocks her. In a conversation with her sister, Jane, Lizzie states her objections —
“…were I persuaded that Charlotte had any regard for him, I should only think worse of her understanding than I now do of her heart. My dear Jane, Mr. Collins is a conceited, pompous, narrow-minded, silly man; you know he is, as well as I do; and you must feel, as well as I do, that the woman who married him cannot have a proper way of thinking. You shall not defend her, though it is Charlotte Lucas. You shall not, for the sake of one individual, change the meaning of principle and integrity, nor endeavour to persuade yourself or me, that selfishness is prudence, and insensibility of danger security for happiness.” -P&P ch.24
Speaking with Mr. Darcy a few days later, she doubts Charlotte’s wisdom and can only say it’s a good match, if “seen in a prudential light.” There was little reason to believe in the couple’s future happiness, compatibility or similarity of temperament.
In fact, during the Regency period, a ‘prudential’ marriage is thought of only in terms of “practical advantages” of income, or of being settled near family. Charlotte will live 50 miles away from her family, which, considering the couple’s modest income, is not an ‘easy’ distance for frequent visits. Lizzy feels for her friend—
“Poor Charlotte! it was melancholy to leave her to such society! But she had chosen it with her eyes open; and though evidently regretting that her visitors were to go, she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and all their dependent concerns, had not yet lost their charms.” —P&P, Ch. 38
Someone may argue that if Charlotte doesn’t seem to be unhappy (at least initially) with the marriage, what’s the problem here? Maybe the academics are correct, right? No. The point is that Charlotte is putting her emphasis on the wrong thing. The Beatles said it best, “All you need is love.” Alan Bloom, a respected author and philosopher, sums it up like this—
“Charlotte’s marriage to Mr. Collins is tolerable only because she is able to arrange her husband’s study in such a way that he is not tempted to come out and bother her, whereas Elizabeth wants to be with Darcy as much as she can.” — Love & Friendship
Mr. Collins is an odd sort of character who is supposed to be a clergyman, yet he cannot appreciate natural beauty, he focuses on his “humble abode” and “situation in life” and goes overboard with his deference towards his patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh—
“Here, leading the way…every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind. He could number the fields in every direction, and could tell how many trees there were in the most distant clump.” (P&P)
Mr. Collins is totally ignorant of the real need we all have for deep loving relationships. Just consider Jane Austen’s (hilarious) description—
“The stupidity with which he was favoured by nature must guard his courtship from any charm that could make a woman wish for its continuance.” (P&P)
Naturally, happiness with this man is decidedly a lost cause, yet Charlotte chooses to invert priorities, and go forward with this farcical marriage—all for the sake of material security!
“Her reflections were in general satisfactory. Mr. Collins, to be sure, was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still he would be her husband. Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want.” (P&P)
Attempting to explain herself to the incredulous Lizzy, Charlotte claims to have no sense of the “romantic” and that all her hopes are centered in a comfy home. In my opinion, Charlotte could have done far better by prioritizing finding someone who really loved and respected her, instead of settling for merely a ‘transactional’ relationship. Theirs can hardly be considered even a mediocre friendship yet some will argue in favor of a right to marry whomever will have us, as long as we get—a comfortable home! The heroine disagrees with this kind of behavior, (which means Jane Austen also disagrees!)
Spelling it out: Marrying a Mr. Collins is throwing oneself away. No romantic love, no attraction of any kind, and at that time period in England, divorce was not allowed unless under very specific circumstances, and then only by an act of Parliament! Charlotte has tied herself to someone who is oblivious to reciprocal relationships based on love. Mr. Collins simply cannot provide his wife with a loving relationship because he is without self-knowledge. He will never be Charlotte’s real partner.
Virginia Woolf (1882-1941), expressed her belief that Austen had a much deeper understanding of love than most people. Almost a century later, and like poor Charlotte, many people seem confused as to what a good ‘catch’ really is. The only cure is to allow Jane Austen to carry us back from the brink of (grrrr!) social media’s dreadful influence on intimate relationships!
We interrupt this blog for an emergency public service announcement:
At least one study found that young people are engaging in ‘hookups’ …because their friends “expect them to!” Please don’t do this. No one needs so-called friends that pressure you into behavior that can ENDANGER your life. Physical intimacy should always be restricted to a person who is committed to you, cares about your happiness, and is serious about staying with you throughout life. That means no intimacy unless you have known them for at least one or two years and are married to them! Go slow, my friends. Not these damn hookups, which exist for using people (especially young adults). You deserve better!
So, a bit of philosophy: Analyzing the ethics taught by Aristotle, friendships may be based in one of three catagories–pleasure, utility or virtue. For example, a friendship based in pleasure would focus on using another person’s body or wealth for temporary gratification. It’s motivated by selfish desires. Think of how foolish, thoughtless Lydia Bennett “left all her friends” and nearly wrecked all of her sisters’ chances to marry, All for the sake of running off with the penniless Mr. Wickham. Charlotte’s marriage is based in a ‘friendship’ of utility. She wants a home and her awkward husband wants a wife. However, Lizzy demands more than a mere ‘comfortable home’. Why? Because she values,’more than anything else, a virtuous partner. Omg. How romantic is that? Very!
Skeptics are not cornering the market on romance, so relax! Our need for love is not true only of women but also of men. It’s so innate and so powerful because it’s part of who we are. We have that natural, deep connection to each other as eternal spiritual beings. On a higher level, Elizabeth and Darcy feel deep respect each other. He is her perfect partner, a classy man who is intelligent, generous and concerned about her. Darcy is also very wealthy, so Elisabeth has also chosen practically, and has not thrown herself away for love.
It seems that those few articles and videos that defend Charlotte’s choice might be misleading their readers by ignoring what Austen has set up her novels to do—which is to make us think more deeply about what our best happiness looks like. I hope that this will help clarify Jane Austen’s message of self-knowledge.
Here is a link to a wonderful talk by Professor John Mullan, who goes into the comic and tragic awkwardness of Charlotte’s marriage situation. If you enjoyed this blog please do subscribe.
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