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May 6, 2025 · 10:11 pm

Mansfield Madness

In my opinion, modern ideas of romance are downright unromantic! However, I shall not claim that superficial love or duplicity just popped up recently, in the last few years, or even the last few decades. Heck, Shakespeare was writing about the problem centuries ago. Yet the 21st century poverty-stricken “modern idea” of love and friendship has much to do with the mindlessness of modern media and social media, in which lust is typically what is meant when “love at first sight” is portrayed. Sigh. I suppose that the collective loss of moral compass is mostly unintentional, (like the way we lose our car keys) and thus, during the last few centuries, we’ve confused romantic love with fleeting physical relationships. They are not usually the “happily ever after” kind. We seek stability and consistency in our friendships and partners. To say that our intimate relationships should be based on more than physicality and sex, is not about bashing sex. Rather, it’s about increasing self knowledge so we recognize and appreciate a good relationship. Consider “hookup” culture (an oxymoron if you ask me, and also an unfortunate trend), in which strangers meet solely to have sex, and basically that’s it. Not to judge harshly, yet not only is this an extremely scary thing to do, but research found that these youth do this… because their friends ‘expect’ them to? The “romantic” aspect…where is it? The only thing comparable is when animals meet by accident and “do it” in the street. Yet, even many animals have courtship rituals and, to some degree display a little “pickiness” as to their choice of a partner. Some animals even mate for life! So hookups….well, it’s horrible to compare it with…yet it’s mainly the insect species that just “do it” without so much as a “date” or even a pretense at commitment. It’s simply awful and geared towards exploitation (mostly of young women) yet it’s also dispicable, as far as the so-called ‘friends’ who pressure these kids to engage in it. Also, according to the same studies, these young folks actually hope for a loving relationship to arise during these interactions. This is terrible. No one who is genuinely seeking love should feel that this is the only way. Hearing about such misled attempts at connection has inspired me to write (once again) about healthy relationships.

We seek good friendships and hope to connect with others to find love. Okay, introducing Bhakti-yoga! Yoga is the real best way of connecting. Yoga (literally) means “connecting,” and by connecting we “dis-cover” or uncover the self. This is self-knowledge (self-realization), which allows us to stop seeing ourselves as the material body. While the body is an amazing vehicle for doing what we need to do in life, yet we are more than these bodies. The conscious “self” is an inconceivably beautiful and consciousness spark, that is intimately connected with our Source, the reason and cause of our existence. We can call this God (we won’t get hung up on any particular name). My name for this source is the Sanskrit name Krishna (it means All-attractive). Yoga practice helps free us from “body-consciousness,” which is the mistake of focusing on what is external and temporary, (the body doesn’t last forever). Yoga helps us realize the most fundamental and eternal part of ourselves. This self-knowledge, is what philosophers like Socrates recommended and which Jane Austen wrote about in her novels. Her heroines meditate and sincerely seek after ‘self-knowledge.’ In Pride & Prejudice, after reading Mr. Darcy’s letter which unfolded all her prideful misconceptions about him, Elizabeth Bennett exclaims, “Till this moment I never knew myself.” (Ch. 36)

From this point in the novel, Elizabeth and Darcy gradually begin to understand each other. The more they know about themselves, the better they respect and appreciate each other and at last they are able to “connect.” If they had not experienced their difficult moment of seeing their own mistakes which gradually led both of them to self-realization (Darcy also goes through a similar process of seeing his flaws and selfishness), they never would have been able to love and respect each other.

The truth is that we are currently “covered” by the ignorance of misunderstanding ourselves to be material, rather than spiritual beings. While trying to gratify the needs of this body, we might tend to focus only on our own physical desires, and not remember that we must also consider the needs of others. When we forget this, it often results in selfishly seeking to take (or exploit) someone else, or someone else’s body, which is illegal and (actually) disgusting. “Taking” is the opposite of love. Obviously, the less we have intense selfishness, the more we are free to love. Both Elizabeth and Darcy learned to be less selfish and discovered perfect happiness in each other.

So here’s where Jane and yoga can help us, too! Jane wrote romantic novels that demonstrate the hazards and challenges to finding love. She understood what was involved in seeking a serious relationship with someone, only to find out that they are not the person we imagined them to be. In her novels, the heroines…well, they “go slow” and patiently wait. Yup, there is no “fooling around” until they’ve have had enough time to understand the character of the person whom they are thinking about as a potential partner. You might know that during the Regency period (around the late 1700s to early 1800s, there was no divorce or only by an act of parliament). So finding a good partner wasn’t just a problem for women. Men and women are equally liable to fall in love and “check out” in terms of rational thinking. Omg. It’s such an old story…

In Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park, the hero, Edmund Bertram, develops a deep infatuation with the artful and seductive Mary Crawford. Initially, he sees the faults in her thinking and behavior, yet he is gradually blinded by what he calls her ‘lively’ mind, her harp playing and her beauty). Eventually his mind becomes bewildered. Just as he is about to propose to her, a lucky series of events “breaks the spell.” Edmund sees that she is not the person he thought she was, not even close! His wishful imagination got the best of his intellect. How many of us have been there, with our love endorphins raging, imagining that we know someone, only to find out that this is not the person we were convinced we were in love with. These days, we tend to move a bit too fast, miss all the red flags, and find out too late, after all the expense of marriage, and kids. Be your own friend and go slow during the dating process. Take a year or two to find out if this is the right person and state your intentions. “I want marriage and children” and question them to see if you are compatible and want the same kind of relationship and if you have the same values and intentions. Don’t let anyone pressure you into a physical relationship (they are using you for sex).

By the way, gotta say this…it’s striking that many of the unprincipled characters in Austen’s novels, are the ones many (foolish) readers “fall for.” They find Mary Crawford (and her rakish brother, Henry Crawford, irresistibly charming! It’s as if they’ve been reading a different novel or they refuse to acknowledge Jane Austen’s message. Like Edmund, they are not paying attention or thinking clearly while these characters are so blatantly behaving badly. It’s terrifying. They are explicitly telling us what they are—so if you meet people like this, and usually they give “red flags” so believe them! So if these readers are charmed…well, we feel for them if they ever meet a “Mary Crawford.”

Humans are by nature ‘wired’ to seek love, so what does an intelligent person do? How do we sift through (or run away from) the “users” and “takers” out there—and how do we stay rational during those moments when the love endorphins are going full force? Do we need a strategy? We certainly do! Many a love song goes on about this dilemma, right? The first thing to realize, is that we can’t do anything about other people, yet we can protect ourselves from serious consequences and entanglement. It’s a matter of having the right consciousness. This study of consciousness is part of the science of yoga philosophy and this video link (below) is something amazing. It’s a lecture given by my mentor, HD Goswami, on the “whys and hows” that yoga is great for rational life, which is the best way to start understanding “self-knowledge” which is essential for love (and I go more into the topic of love in my blog on Yoga and Aristotle). Links are on this page. Enjoy the video!

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Charlotte Lucas’ Mistake

Lizzy Bennett questioned Charlotte’s decision to marry the exceedingly awkward Mr. Collins, and so do I! Let talk about this.

I have trouble understanding academic papers and magazine articles that tell us why Charlotte was just being prudent or pragmatic in her choice of of Mr. Collins as a marriage partner, and that she was, more or less, forced by circumstances. There are academic articles that imagine that Jane Austen had nothing in mind but illustrating the lack of choice for women in Charlotte’s situation. While I can agree that it wasn’t easy for women to find a good husband during the Regency Period, when Jane was coming of age, people may not understand the cause. It was hard to find good marriage partners at that time, because most eligible men were away in Europe, fighting the Napoleonic wars. Yet while many marriages are described in Pride & Prejudice, Charlotte’s is one of the worst!

Sure, it’s easy to agree that she was just being pragmatic, yet I am not convinced that the, “desperate times call for desperate measures” mode of thinking was the best way to go in this case. And it may be common for people to marry for money, almost too common to kvetch about. Still, Charlotte’s marriage was not ‘kosher.’ Why? Well, Jane Austen clearly recognized that a sufficient income is important, but there are some considerations which impact the ultimate happiness of those who only think in terms of financial security while choosing a partner.

We see that the heroine’s (Elizabeth Bennett’s) “stamp of approval” for her friend’s marriage to Mr. Collins is not given readily. In fact, while speaking with Mr. Darcy about it, a few days later, Lizzie could only mention the “good” of her friend’s choice by seeing it in a ‘prudential’ light. During the Regency period, this would mean that the marriage is being considered only in terms of “practical advantages” of income, or being settled near family, (Charlotte will be living 50 miles away from her family, which cannot be considered near), rather than emotional fulfillment. She is placing an emphasis almost entirely on what benefits the body while imprudently ignoring the needs of the real self.

We know that Jane Austen has a message in mind, because the heroine discusses Charlotte’s upcoming marriage in a more frank conversation with her older sister, Jane Bennett, and what is her real opinion? That anyone who could think of Mr. Collins as a proper marriage partner is making a huge mistake. So what exactly is wrong with this Mr. Collins? Here is what Lizzie has to say about him“

My dear Jane, Mr. Collins is a conceited, pompous, narrow-minded, silly man: you know he is, as well as I do; and you must feel, as well as I do, that the woman who marries him cannot have a proper way of thinking. You shall not defend her, though it is Charlotte Lucas. You shall not, for the sake of one individual, change the meaning of principle and integrity, nor endeavour to persuade yourself or me that selfishness is prudence, and insensibility of danger security for happiness.’

By the way, the ‘danger’ Lizzie mentions is in settling for a loveless marriage, or a marriage to an idiot, simply for the sake of material comfort. Indeed, Charlotte Lucas has abandoned her powers of discrimination by concluding that a good marriage partner is all a matter of chance! She claims only to have an interest in “marrying well” In her mind, “[Marriage] was the only honorable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want.”

It may be that Charlotte’s first mistake was to forgo a normal courtship, which is so essential, vital and necessary for getting to know the one on whom one’s “marital happiness” will depend. And just consider Jane Austen’s (hilarious) description of how courtship goes on between them…”The stupidity with which he was favoured by nature must guard his courtship from any charm that could make a woman wish for its continuance.” (P&P)

It would be natural to assume that happiness with such a man is decidedly a lost cause, yet Charlotte chooses to invert rational priorities, and go forward with the marriage—all for the sake of material security! This is what Jane Austen is trying to warn her readers about, despite the difficulties of remaining single. Unfortunately, Charlotte is clueless-

“Her reflections were in general satisfactory. Mr. Collins, to be sure, was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still he would be her husband. Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want.” (P&P)

It is hard to believe that there are women foolish enough to agree to this kind of thing. After all, there are other men out there. Charlotte might have had to give up some material security in favor of finding someone with less wealth, yet who really loved and respected her. The point is, Charlotte’s match with Mr.Collins is perverse because it is truly a ‘transactional’ relationship. Charlotte is conducting herself like some ‘gold-digger’ who will marry anyone (whomever will have her), as long as she gets what she wants—a comfortable home! The heroine (Lizzie) disagrees with Charlotte, which means Jane Austen disagrees! So much for academics who think this is just about portraying Charlotte’s meager choices.

Spelling it out: Marrying a Mr. Collins is throwing oneself away. No romantic love, no attraction of any kind and, what is more, divorce laws were strict during the Regency Period. It required (literally) an act of Parliment to get a divorce! Mr. Collins simply cannot provide his wife with a loving relationship because (even if he knew what love was), he is absorbed in his social status, his improvements on “his humble abode” and his obsequious adulation of his patroness. He would never be Charlotte’s real partner.

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941), expressed her belief that Austen had a much deeper understanding of love than most people. Almost a century later, and like poor Charlotte, many people seem confused as to what a good ‘catch’ really is. If we analyze the ethics taught by Aristotle, friendships may be based in one of three catagories–pleasure, utility or virtue. For example, a friendship based in pleasure would be based simply on using another person’s body for temporary gratification, and motivated by selfish desires. Think of how Lydia Bennett (a foolish and thoughtless character) “left all her friends” and almost wrecked all of her sisters’ chances to marry, in order to run off with the useless and penniless Mr. Wickham. Charlotte’s marriage is based in a ‘friendship’ of utility. She wants a home and her awkward husband wants a wife. That’s all they get. Very little love involved in this kind of arrangement. Still, Charlotte thinks she’s being rational. Sadly, there’s no chance of their relationship ever developing into anything more meaningful. However, Lizzy demands more than a mere ‘comfortable home. Why? Because she values a virtuous partner who respects and loves her. How romantic is that? Very!

It is very clear that Charlotte’s choices leave her with only a shadow of the perfect happiness that we see in Elizabeth’s marriage to Mr. Darcy. From the beginning, Charlotte is compelled to go out of her way to arrange her life in order to avoid her husband’s company as much as she can. There are no romantic feelings between them. Another sad truth is brilliantly shown when Mr. Collins, who is proud of his material comforts and position in life, and still apparently holding a grudge against Lizzy (for her rejection of his marriage proposal). Attempting to rub his matrimonial triumph in her face, he states that he and his wife, Charlotte seem ‘designed’ for each other.” Interestingly, this is the fact.

Mr. Collins and his indifferent wife are indeed “perfectly designed for each other”–and not as a blessing. On the other hand, Elizabeth and Darcy treasure and respect each other. Darcy is her perfect partner, a thoughtful man who is intelligent, generous and concerned about her. Austen makes the vast difference between Elizabeth and Charlotte’s situation very clear. Darcy is also very wealthy, so Elizabeth is not a loser and has not thrown herself away for love.

I feel that articles and videos that defend Charlotte’s choice might be misleading their readers, by ignoring what Austen has set up her novels to do—which is to make us think more deeply about what our best happiness looks like. Lizzy herself laments-

“Poor Charlotte! It was melancholy to leave her to such society! But she had chosen it with her eyes open;… she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and all their dependent concerns, had not yet lost their charms.“

Austen here expresses her own feelings through the heroine Elizabeth, who feels as any friend must feel. Especially because she predicts that her friend will not be contented after the ‘charms’ of the honeymoon phase are over.

Here is a link to a wonderful talk by Professor John Mullan, who goes into the comic and tragic awkwardness of Charlotte’s marriage situation. If you enjoyed this blog please subscribe!

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November 20, 2023 · 3:08 pm
November 17, 2023 · 12:16 pm

Yoga, Aristotle and True Romantic Happiness

Happiness is the result of practice. Everyone is seeking happiness, yet what is the path? How do we find it? The answer leads us to reconnect, by devotion, with our Source, which is the reason for our existence. As we are conscious beings who seek friendships and loving relationships, it is rational and natural to expect the origin of our existence to be a conscious and loving personal Being. Otherwise, if our source was just an impersonal glowing ‘radiance,’ it would be strange if it had a desire to create anything, what to speak of creating this world full of personal beings, who seek love and loving connections with other people, with our children, with friends and others. The ancient process or practice for attaining happiness is called, bhakti-yoga, (bhakti means devotional and yoga means ‘connection.’) To connect with this Source is the goal, and if anyone has had a bad experience with the term, “God,” we accept that there are millions of names (so we don’t get hung up on the name). We like the Sanskrit name, Krishna, because it means “all-attractive.”

In this world, although attraction, friendship and love are what give us the greatest pleasure, we often find unhappiness or disappointment, when seeking love. Why does this have to be the case? The main cause is when relationships become complicated by conflicting desires, or if one or both persons become focused on their own pleasure. First, by allowing lust and selfishness to intrude, which is a very common mistake that people often fall into. In this age, we are living in a society that has little information as to our true self, and by misidentifying ourselves with our body, when we are actually spiritual beings doing business as humans, we lose our ability to be rational and to be really loving towards others. When we lack this self-knowledge, our priority becomes taking (expressing selfishness) rather than giving (love is expressed by giving), instead we feel a strong “need” to use another person, either for sex or some other purpose. This intense selfishness is incompatible with our desire to have deeply loving relationships.

To get a little more clarity, let’s take the scenic route to “yoga philosophy” by looking at love through the idea of ‘pure’ romance. According to Jane, in any relationship where selfishness prevails, the “happily ever after” never happens. Only loving friendships give this type of satisfactory experience. This was understood long ago by the philosopher Aristotle. He categorizes three types of relationships: These are motivated by either utility, pleasure or ‘pure’ friendship. In a relationship based on ‘utility,’ one person is being more or less, used. Not good. The same goes for ‘friendships’ where it’s simply for the pleasure of one person, and not a mutually loving thing. Of course, one-sided relationships are also inferior. Taking without also reciprocating is not love and takers do not make good friends, or lovers. Finally, there are relationships of pure loving friendship, in which both parties care about each other and have mutual respect.

Here’s the amazing thing about Jane’s novels. They illustrate the highest love, in the mode of pure friendship which is why they are generally considered to be the most romantic ever written. Therefore it may seem strange to hear scholars call attention to her ‘anti-romantic’ stance. What does this mean?

We will need to distinguish Aristotelian ‘pure’ love (ie, what may be mistaken for anti-romance), from the very superficial “love” which is based completely in the “physical gratification” aspect of relationships. Understanding the difference in quality between these relationships is what Jane does so elegantly.

Jane encourages us to use our intelligence and to love, intelligently. Her heroines are careful when they find themselves getting that ‘crush’ on a guy. I find it nice too, that they usually get good advice (often just in time!) from a wise friend or an aunt or a cousin. When the love endorphins kick in, we can fall victim to that semi-mindless state which causes us to stop thinking and then it’s all downhill. This is stupid love when we rush into relationships, and ignore all the signs that the person has no intention of reciprocating. In that case, what can we expect but unhappiness? Stupid love is not romance and, “But I love him/her” is not a compelling argument. This is more like choosing “wishful thinking.” Somehow people get into relationships with people…where it’s sort of like climbing into one of those machines that grinds up tree branches! The character of a person takes time to understand, so resist the urge to risk everything before you really know what you are investing in. It takes time so this is a test of one’s patience and character, despite all the hormones.

Jane’s heroines feel those strong feelings of attraction, yet what keeps them out of the power of the wrong guy has to do with philosophy and self-knowledge. Again, it helps to get reality checks from wise friends, not from people who tend to confuse love with lust. A little caution is good because…for example, Jane’s villainous “cads” (a sort of old-fashioned word that means a guy who isn’t serious about love)…these guys often seem like perfect gentlemen–at first. Another reason to be cautious is not just about NOT falling for the wrong guy. It’s also helpful to keep our eyes open for when the right guy comes along. In Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, the heroine finally realized that she had the bad guy mixed up with the good one. “There certainly was some mismanagement…one has all the goodness and the other has all the appearance of it” (P&P). After unpacking the mix up between the good and the bad, the path to the “true happy ending” is SOoo easy.

My conclusion after 12 years of reading Jane’s works, is that she understood the need for pure love, for real happiness. The soul’s normal condition is to be absorbed in loving relationships so if we look at this from the point of view of a yogi who is trying to reconnect to our Source, we can think about how a relationship works. Actually, when you are dealing with the Supreme, the source of everything, what else do we have to offer? In the Gita, one of the most famous verses is the Lord’s request,

“Engage your mind always in thinking of Me, offer obeisances and worship Me. Being completely absorbed in Me, surely you will come to Me”(9.34).

Jane teaches this principle of pure love in her novels and Bhagavad-gita gives us the philosophical basis for reconnecting to our source with devotion. Once we ‘plug into’ that source it becomes easy to love others and to discover ourselves. Win-win situation!

Thank you for joining me in my path to rediscovering the self. Please like and subscribe!

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November 12, 2023 · 1:29 pm

O, Henry! (Mr. Henry Crawford, that is)

Dear readers, it’s been a good long time since my last blog. What can I say? I was in the wilds of Alaska. After a long, long 18 months, it was time to get back to the lower 48. I’m happy to again have the time to jump back into my blog!

My teacher once stated that if we were fully enlightened, we would understand the reality of all souls as unimaginably beautiful beings. We are simply conscious beings “DBA” (doing business as) humans and it is a mistake to misidentify ourselves as these temporary material bodies, or to identify with all the thoughts that enter our heads. What is the true self or consciousness and how do we rediscover self? The good news about yoga philosophy is that the process is so easy. Only it takes a little intelligence and sincerity and then, of course, Jane Austen’s novels.

Jane is widely recognized as a literary genius and demands her readers’ full attention. She once wrote in a letter, “I do not write for such dull elves as have not a great deal of ingenuity themselves.” In other words, she put her genius to work in creating her novels and, in reciprocation perhaps, would naturally expect her readers to roll up their sleeves and “have a think” about her purpose in writing and to discover the exceptional moral universe she illustrates. In this media-saturated environment, the ‘metaphysical’ aspect is not well understood by modern readers, although 250 years ago, during the height of The Enlightenment, philosophy and metaphysics were at the center of public discussion. Anyone reading Jane’s novels at that time understood her skill in focusing on proper behavior and amazingly, she did this without being preachy. Jane also charmed and entertained readers by the author’s realism in her depictions of character and witty dialogue. The romantic aspect is significant (we will speak more on this later), yet it is clear that much of the action describes heroes and heroines striving for self-control and understanding proper behavior, often under trying circumstances, and usually when dealing with seriously ‘ill-bred’ and even downright rude behavior by acquaintances. Of course, all the novels have happy endings and therefore fall under the category of comedies as opposed to tragedies, except perhaps in the case of Mansfield Park, which has to fight against the wrenching virtual demolition of the family and local neighborhood. It has more of a rational than romantic ending, although I must say that Fanny Price does live happily ever after!

Diving in, it must be noted that in many movie adaptations (and some academic reviews…grrr!) of Jane’s most demanding novel, Mansfield Park, the heroine, Fanny Price, is often misrepresented. This greatly affects the message of the story, in a negative way, by obscuring the importance and significance of the heroine. Perhaps this is a result of being out of touch with “the norms” of the age in which the novels were written. Especially in movie adaptations, and ignoring what was important to the author, the directors try to “sex up” Fanny, rather than giving her the latitude to be the amazingly strong character that she is. Certainly, Fanny Price is unusually meek and timid, yet she is worth understanding even if not even close to what the modern reader considers a typical heroine (she requires a bit of explaining)!

In yoga philosophy, as well as true classical philosophy, as taught by Socrates (‘know thyself’), and similarly in Buddhism, anyone seeking to attain happiness needs to find a peaceful mental condition. And a peaceful mind is based in rationality, as opposed to our modern tendency to spend a lot of time absorbed in ‘extreme’ activities and external stimulation such as addiction to social media. Such a ddictions are unhealthy and children are, according to experts, getting dumber by having access to The self-realized person would say this: Confusing stimulation for happiness is very sad because the happiness we seek is already there within us. There is an unlimited source of internal happiness which doesn’t require anything else, it doesn’t require retail therapy or a ‘consumer’ mindset. This is why Americans and many countries now, are swamped with advertising. Knowledge of self is the best thing as it is perfection. As Krishna states in the Gita, we connect with eternal happiness through this knowledge, and, knowing this, “nothing remains to be known.” That is such an interesting statement, and we can explore this amazing knowledge and the power it gives us, by looking at this concept through Jane Austen’s novel, Mansfield Park, which addresses “cool-headed” rational thinking and its connection to a good life.

In Mansfield Park, we find the Bertram family in various states of willful unawareness. The aunt, Mrs. Norris, obsesses over small savings by her domestic “economy” and takes charge of everything (owing to the amazing sloth of her sister, Lady Bertram). Yet Mrs Norris is ultimately oblivious to the wellbeing of her niece, Maria, who is the eldest daughter of Sir Bertram. Maria is endlessly flattered into vanity and convinced that she has attained every perfection. Maria’s younger sister, Julia is also vain yet being the younger sister and less handsome saves her from the extreme vanity which leaves Maria completely vulnerable to idle flattery from the likes of cold-hearted Henry Crawford. The poor cousin, Fanny Price, (the story’s amazingly timid, meek and unexpectedly courageous heroine), unexpectedly finds herself next in line for Henry’s calculated attentions. In fact, poor Fanny gets the worst of it, as she is under greater pressure from her uncle, Sir Thomas and her relations, to capitulate to Crawford’s proposals. He is wealthy and has many alluring talents (which many readers fall for), yet Fanny cannot forget the blatant cruelty to her cousins, and especially his cruel abandonment of Maria, and she sees his words as meaning nothing. Seeing her moral integrity and sweetness, Henry develops a somewhat real attraction to Fanny and unleashes his considerable powers and charms to woo her. Fanny finds herself in a serious predicament as to whether Henry is still the same old selfish and vain “Henry,” yet she is still devoted to her oblivious cousin Edmund, who is himself smitten by Henry’s sister Miss Crawford, who is beautiful, charming and as vain and selfish as her brother. Mansfield Park is a good lesson in understanding the dangers of individual narcissism.

Amazingly, some readers fall for Henry Crawford despite Jane Austen making it perfectly clear that he is the epitome of insincerity in a lover. DULL ELF alert! …Jane Austen expects her readers to have a THINK about what Henry is doing to the women in this novel. Specifically, as to ‘trifling’ with the affections of a woman, as in the abominable behavior of Henry towards Maria, it must be said that theno one involved thought it better to have loved and lost. When men engage in “creating an attachment” (essentially, it’s when the man creates strong feelings in the woman, and the expectation of a proposal of marriage, without any intention of doing so), Jane Austen considered it barbarious. It is unthinkable that modern women would fall for this character, Henry, in spite of the outrageous irreparable damage to the Bertram Family, that his behavior causes. Jane wrote this novel as a warning and some readers take it as a titillating description of a charmingly flirtatious man, just as Maria Crawford, (no model of goodness or integrity herself), speaks of it. Her casual ‘remedy’ for the situation is what finally tips off Edmund that she also, is not a good person!

So how do we avoid being duped by our own vanity? We wallow in a culture that tells us to believe that we are flawless, while social media pretends that the inner self doesn’t exist. We are constantly given the message of placing importance on the physical body, yet we are “giving up the substance for shadow” as we have no idea how beautiful we already are (as spiritual beings). The only ‘cure’ is to reconnect with ourselves and our real spiritual identity. Bhakti-Yoga practice satisfies and reveals our inner self through the rediscovery of the Source of our existence. Jane Austen actually used the word, “meditation” in her novels, and her heroines often retreat to their rooms for that purpose. Interestingly, special rooms were built in the homes (of the rich usually). These room were called ‘closets‘–which were made for the purpose of allowing the owner the luxury of just being alone. Back in the Regency era, people actually valued time spent alone and in meditative contemplation. They were aware that sitting quietly or walking in nature helped to calm the mind. What Jane’s heroines were doing when they engaged in a few moments of meditation then, is something that many thousands of people are doing today…and if we do this practice daily, it bestows what we all desire, namely focus and serenity. Perhaps this sounds too good to be true yet science backs it up. I love science and will be inserting as much science-based information as possible so keep clicking on those links. Bhakti-yoga is also a spiritual science that is based in eastern wisdom.

As for what kind of perks come with Jane and Bhakti-yoga practice, yes there are indeed concrete benefits for the brain. One way to boost our consciousness is a good Jane Austen binge-reading session. My 10 year binge was amazingly therapeutic. Science (seriously) agrees. According to one Stanford study, our brain under the influence of Jane Austen is a brain in therapy. Who knew? Well, someone must have known because her novels were even used as therapy for shell-shocked soldiers of WWI and even that ultimate tough-guy, Winston Churchill was a fan. Beside all this, many intellectuals, philosophers and science-minded readers of her novels admit to finding great comfort in her depictions of a moral universe, because it portrays reality in a way that ‘makes sense.’ Some of us remember when the world used to make sense. Ah, nostagia!

The really good news is that you can begin from wherever you are at right now and can access what Jane called self-knowledge, or as it is called today, self-realization, through an easy metaphysical process called bhakti-yoga. I am still trying to learn the luxury of, ‘sleeping’ on decisions. Sometimes our worst choices can be based on emotional, financial and physical impulses. We can save ourselves from such impulses simply by the practice of meditation on our Source (there are many names for God, and my favorite is the Sanskrit name, Krishna, which means, “all-attractive”). Otherwise, there are many cheaters who are on the lookout for fools (or someone having a weak moment and acting impulsively).

Click here to watch an excellent lecture on the philosophy of yoga given by my mentor and the founder of Krishna West, HD Goswami. As HD Goswami explains, the basis of bhakti is clearly explained in the wisdom-text from India, known as the Bhagavad-gita, or The Song of God (order here). In the Gita, we are invited to venture into a reawakening of self through devotion. To act from the deepest pure love is actually the highest form of yoga or connection with our source. In the Gita, one is assured of ‘swift’ deliverance from material suffering by infusing all actions and offerings with devotion. In this way we can gradually reawaken our eternal relationship with the original source of our existence. This a beautiful and powerfully effective process and we are sharing it freely with all. As my teacher explains:

“The word “yoga” comes from the Sanskrit root Yuj which means to link with, or combine. Bhakti-yoga means to connect to the Supreme by means of loving devotional service.” –H.D. Goswami

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October 24, 2021 · 5:20 pm

Can We Talk Romance?

Jane Austen wrote what are considered the most romantic novels ever written–and with nary a kiss between lover and beloved. In England, at that time, kissing a woman, at least publicly, meant kissing her hand. Only if she offered it, not otherwise! Men would also never presume to oblige a woman to shake hands. They would offer their hand as assistence, if she was entering or exiting a carriage, for example. While pondering the old social etiquette, we might also take a few minutes to consider, more than superficially, what kind of person is worthy of our love.

Jane Austen’s heroines are excellent mentors for real people dealing with bad friends, bad lovers —or jerks! Heroines go head-to-head with some pretty egotistical characters. No love lost on these types. Just consider the Thorpes’ mind games in Northanger Abbey. Remember the evil strategies of the Crawfords in Mansfield Park. And we can’t forget the insufferable meddling of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, in Pride & Prejudice. Omg! Still, Jane’s young and (sometimes) naive heroines deal effectively with the Dark Side of the Force.

Life improves dramatically when we are thoughtful and rational. Therefore Jane’s higher characters get better partners and rational happiness while the ‘lesser’ characters, whose actions and words show their indifference to others, end up with, well, awkward partners and situations. Some even choose these bad partners with their eyes ‘open’ which is a huge mistake for anyone wanting a happy life. Jane depicts every step and nearly every thought on the path to the wrong marriage partner.

In Mansfield Park, Henry Crawford destroys a family by intentionally raising romantic ‘expectations’ in the Bertram sisters. His attentions create an “emotional attachment,” yet he has no plans to marry! Jane Austen considered this nothing less than… barbaric. Enter the timid Fanny Price. She is the only one not fooled by Henry Crawford. Where does she get this wisdom? By self-knowledge, which keeps her from falling into a serious case of vanity. Henry works on women by using flattering deceit —and he is deceived even as to his own motives. Bad guy. Fanny sees this. Her highly educated cousins, who absorb their minds in all the niceties of external society and polished manners cannot. Fanny is silent and observant. Her mind is fixed in yoga practice and she sees the truth.

The first priority is to know ourselves. Consciousness is eternal and naturally blissful, in its pure state. A simple connection with our Source (simultaneously ourselves) can change our lives. When the sun rises it lights up everything. Self-knowledge can be our saving! In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett’s life is forever changed after reading Mr. Darcy’s letter. As she discovered the truth she understood, “Until that moment I never knew myself!” Excellent breakthrough moment! By the way, in the 1800s, happy endings were the norm in any literature with a moral message. Jane Austen’s message was that happiness is the result of a good life and, even today, many people would agree with this.

We might wonder why many movies are so cynical about love. Love stories are not often about love, but lust. This is a messed up sort of love. We may believe that rational happiness is not “racy” enough or that romantic happiness lacks realism. Yet there are even some animal species that mate for life so why deny the possibility for humans to grow-or to have healthy romances? I believe that any message that denies the possibility of normal human relationships cannot be psychologically healthy.

The truth is, that witty and rational characters are more interesting, and their struggles also tend to inspire us. Hey, if romantic happiness is not to be expected, then what else of ‘transcendent’ importance do we have to live and aspire for? It is sign of these narcissistic times that we hardly understand the basics of good relationships —or the fact that civility and respect are necessary for romantic love. This is why I love Jane Austen’s novels.

Many folks see nothing wrong with Charlotte Lucas’ choice of Mr. Collins as a partner yet the fact is that Jane Austen meant to create a stark contrast. There is a significant difference between Charlotte’s ideas about matrimony, and the heroine, Elizabeth’s. We are first presented with what a romance should definitely not look like. Poor Charlotte Lucas chooses her marriage partner so unwisely that hers was a comfortable home “only when the owner could be forgot” and her domestic arrangements were prioritized by how well they assisted her in avoiding her husband’s company! Mr. Collins was a “conceited, pompous, narrow-minded, silly” man and yet Charlotte would overlook everything but the ‘comfortable’ home. Charlotte’s marriage may be considered ‘prudent’ as to fortune —nothing more! Here’s a link to Professor John Mullan speaking on the marriage of Charlotte and Mr. Collins (who ironically tells Elizabeth that he and his wife seem to have been “designed for each other”). Truer words were never spoken as neither truly loves the other. In contrast, Elizabeth states that , “I am determined that only the deepest love will induce me into matrimony,” and she waits for the right person. She doesn’t settle.

One more thought: Some people claim that Mr. Darcy’s wealth was the primary reason for Elizabeth choosing him as a partner, this can be easily proved false. If her choice had been all about money and a comfortable home, Lizzy would not have rejected his first proposal. Furthermore, if she had accepted Mr. Darcy before he had changed for the better, her marriage would have been no better than Charlotte’s and probably much worse. The happy ending is in large part earned by Elizabeth’s higher character and also by her accepting the good advice of her aunt, Mrs. Gardiner, who cautions her against the villainous Mr. Wickham.

In Jane’s description of a romance based in the ‘deepest’ love, we find love based in true friendship! Elizabeth considers her friend’s situation as something to think of with concern:

“Poor Charlotte! it was melancholy to leave her to such society! But she had chosen it with her eyes open;… she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and all their dependent concerns, had not yet lost their charms.“

—Pride and Prejudice

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February 8, 2019 · 5:29 pm

Jane Austen and Meditation

In Jane Austen’s day, people were quite aware of the amazing effects of meditation. Even 200 years ago, Jane chose the word, ‘meditation,’ (seriously, it’s in her novels), to describe her heroine’s sitting in contemplation (as a religious activity) or as a means for becoming calm and relaxed.”[24 This was her heroines’ strategy for mental balance. For everyone and at all times, it is an amazing practice for a healthy psychology, rational perspective and freedom from anxiety.

Meditation is a the only true panacea, clearing negativity and promoting an evolution from confusion to enlightenment, from negativity and The Dark Side of the Force to, you know, your better ‘elf. (Jane did not appreciate dull elves, “[Who] have not a great deal of ingenuity themselves.”) Of course, we would like to be anything but dull and besides, meditation purifies the mind for the low, low price of just a few minutes of your time! Purification of consciousness trains the mind to be nice–actually it trains the mind to be nice to you!

No more raging mind is a blessing!

The names of God have the power to pull the mind away from darkness and wise people have been practicing meditation for thousands of years. Mantra meditation is most effective in this age. (‘Man‘ means mind and ‘tra‘ means to ‘free’ (from anxiety). By the way, anyone traumatized by the ‘God’ concept, can think of it as addressing the source of our existence. It works for those who ‘work’ it.)

I will explain a bit further as to why the name of Krishna is my choice (Krishna is a Sanskrit word meaning “All-attractive”). It means one who possesses, unlimited beauty, wealth, fame, knowledge, strength, power and renunciation. Imagine if an extraordinarily beautiful, powerful, famous. renounced or rich person walked into the room. We would be attracted. It would not be an intellectual decision, rather it would be completely natural. Sometimes we hear of a billionaire giving away money in charity (an act of great renunciation), we are naturally impressed. As the possessor of every opulence in full, Krishna is naturally most attractive as well as being the very source of our existence. Krishna is the Supreme Person which means we can have a personal and loving relationship with God. Such an amazing thing to think about.

Unfortunately we are living in such an unbalanced world, one which contributes to our ignorant condition. Yet, by meditation, we reawaken our dormant spiritual consciousness and find relief from stress and anxiety because we reestablish ourselves in the best state of pure consciousness. As is stated in many scriptures, the supreme is present in the sound of His (and Her) divine names. Any holy names will do, yet the Krishna mantra is the perfect antidote to this crazy world. It packs unlimited potency to break through the ignorance of this age. I want to share it with you, and hope you will experience it for yourself-and share it with others. (Of course you will because your friends will want to know how you became so peaceful and content!)

The founder and spiritual mentor of our society, who is affectionately called Prabhupada (pronounced “pra-boo-pa-da”), explains the way mantra meditation works:

Krishna Consciousness is not an artificial imposition on the mind; this consciousness is the original energy of the living entity. When we hear the transcendental vibration, this consciousness is revived…This chanting of Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, is directly enacted from the spiritual platform, and thus this sound vibration surpasses all lower strata of consciousness–namely sensual, mental and intellectual… As such anyone can take part in the chanting without any previous qualification…

To bring The Force into your life, try chanting the names of Krishna, Hare (pronounced “hu-ray”) and Rama (pronounced “Rah-mah”) every day. Here is a link that further explains the mantra. A little chanting goes a long way. Think of it as a sort of mental hygiene. Even 20-30 minutes in the morning before your day starts will make a big difference in your peace of mind. It is so easy that you can chant anywhere and any time, while driving, taking a walk or cooking dinner. George Harrison of ‘The Beatles’ enjoyed chanting and wrote many songs that glorify Krishna. “My Sweet Lord” was one of his most popular tunes. I’ve been chanting for over 40 years and it only gets better. Here is a link explaining the mantra. It is interesting that Saint Theresa of Avila (pictured above) recommended 2 hours of mediation per day and that is what I do myself. It is wonderful. I hope that you will try it and experience a life of freedom and happiness.

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December 15, 2018 · 8:32 am

Self-Knowledge means Self Realization

In Winchester cathedral, on a wall near Jane Austen’s remains, there is a lovely quotation from Psalms, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.’   She was mentioned in the same sentence as Shakespeare more often than any other writer. She was mistress of wit, humor and irony and also much truth and wisdom. Her heroines speak philosophy (“philo” or “love of” with “sophia” or wisdom).  Wise words are even spoken by flawed characters.  Very realistic since most of us are flawed characters, yet we sometimes get insights. In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett (our heroine) begins to understand herself as she pieces together the cause of her past prejudice which keeps her ignorant of Mr. Wickham’s duplicity and blind to Mr. Darcy’s worth. She analyzes herself in this way:

Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself.” –Elizabeth Bennett, Chapter 36

It can be challenging to face our flaws and to really know ourselves and besides that we have to deal with the effects of the modern world.  Honestly, when does modern social media or any media promote wisdom? Trusting political propaganda and materialistic leaders who lead us further from the truth, in their quest for a bigger slice of the ‘pie,’ then what force is there to bring us back from the edge of complete illusion?  Where do we find knowledge related to consciousness?  How do we get access to wisdom and philosophical contemplations? We are far from being interested in this kind of knowledge, due to misunderstanding ourselves to be the body.    People are also slogging so hard that they are almost too tired and stressed to stop and think about what a peace life would look like. 

It’s very sad to see entire populations so misled.  Here we are, these amazingly beautiful eternal beings and yet we are bombarded by idiotic materialistic messages. How can we become a little more rational and really know ourselves? (By the way, if you are interested in either Jane Austen’s novels or the Bhagavad-Gita, please scroll down to the bottom, or you can click on links to order them!(

Consider the probabilities if self-delusion in the modern world. when virtually every moment, we are encouragedto be as narcissistic as possible, We are told that we are perfect and flawless (or plastic surgery can make us flawless).  Another example? No problem! Many universities now coddle students in so-called ‘Safe Spaces’ because some of them, like infants, still believe that they are the center of the universe and are unable to encounter anyone holding a different opinion from their own! Hearing an opposing opinion becomes a medical emergency.  Universities have always been places where the open exchange of ideas was an a learning opportunity. Jane would not approve of this kind of lame intolerant attitude towards new ideas.  What is happening to our culture and how does society become so warped and irrational? Our rational faculties are being weakened, controlled and blinded by vanity.  It was, “vanity working on a weak mind” that misleads Harriet in the novel, Emma. Absorbed in vanity, we forget truth and intrinsic values, such as those found in philosophy. We become easy targets for the flattery of advertising agencies, social media and social acceptance. The soul is full of knowledge and real happiness. We simply need to reconnect. How do we return our minds to a state of objectivity and the force of honest evaluation of ourselves?  For truth seekers, there is a spiritual practice. Bhakti-yoga.

I compare finding the path to self-knowledge to Lizzy Bennet’s getting that important letter from Mr. Darcy. Before the letter she was positively consumed in thoughts about his apparent incivility, and after the letter she is finally able to do away with all her ignorant notions and prejudiced ideas and sort out her heroes from her villains. Mr. Darcy’s good information gave her the roadmap to finding her way back to the truth, and to finding her way to happiness. She even declares, “Til this moment I never knew myself.” Exposure to the truth is such a cathartic experience! From this moment Lizzy “could only think of her letter”…and of course the happy ending follows. When one gains this knowledge of self understanding, the effect is something like being obsessed by the happiness of knowing. Otherwise, like Lizzy, before her letter, the mind spins us round and round, and we never arrive at a solution

My own teacher-mentor introduced me to dear Jane and it changed my life.  Before that, I had persistent yet vague intuitions in the department of self-understanding and knew that my life was not proceeding in a positive direction yet I had no idea how to actually live and to change my consciousness.  It was like being stuck on that train “going nowhere.  I was sincere and did a lot of praying yet there was a bad experience with a bad teacher-mentor and there were also people who tried to convince me to give up my search.  They only wanted to control and exploit me and were not my friends.  I sometimes compared my experience to poor Catherine Moorland in Northanger Abbey, who was tormented by the conniving (Isabella and John) Thorpe siblings who were shamelessly manipulating her.  After a while she became aware of their schemes and was able to escape them.  In this world there are many who have similar agendas, despite being educated.  Northanger Abbey teaches us that we may have to fight against such people to attain our freedom and that we must appreciate and search out good society.  Catherine stays the course and recognizes her real friends (Mr. Tilney and his sister), and the ‘happily ever after’ follows, of course.  There is a relevant verse from Bhagavad-gita (Ch. 2. verse 41) which says that those who are sincerely following this path of self-knowledge are ‘single-minded’ and their ‘aim is one.’  It is the focused determination of the yogi (or yogini in the case of ladies engaged in this process).

Like many Americans, I had a desire to be rational and scientific about existential questions and yet science cannot explain consciousness, and scientists are also becoming more and more aware of the irrationality of claims that life is explained by chemical processes and pushing back.  Here is an amazing lecture by James Tour (a brilliant, serious organic chemist) explaining the impossibility of life happening by chance.  Bumping into this meditation practice and meeting my teacher was truly my good fortune.  Now, I am so interested in Jane Austen’s novels and the spiritual science of yoga that is found in the teachings of Bhagavad-gita.  Both books are gifts that help us gain better awareness of ourselves.  The honest scientist must be open to a serious exploration of consciousness, and to a rational journey into higher consciousness.  I hope you will continue with us in our path to self-knowledge (self-realization) and if you are then please do Like and subscribe.

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November 4, 2018 · 10:01 pm

Jane Austen’s Moral Universe and Karma

“Instant Karma” videos on YouTube can be quite interesting. Usually someone is engaged in risky or illegal actions and is rewarded with injury, arrest or even death. When I watch ‘Darwin’ Awards videos, my first thought is, “this guy or woman (it’s often a guy!) really didn’t have to do this! Why are they acting so willfully oblivious to consequences?” Consequences are another name for karma, which refers to the universal law of ‘action and reaction’ or, “what goes around, comes around.” Essentially, karma is a function of universal justice. It’s like a mirror used to give us a better view of our behavior. For example, Jane Austen took civility very seriously. The Regency era was a polite one. High class people considered their duty to society. Considering the lack of karmic awareness in the modern world–and maybe because things began to change her time–Jane wrote about the personal dealings between a variety of high and low characters and the varieties of consequences–sometimes tragic and sometimes comic. In her novels, and also in the timeless spiritual text, Bhagavad-Gita, we learn about acting with the understanding of an essential connection between souls. This is the “duty” part.

If we are interested in reality, we may think of our universal connection with all other beings. Why do we feel this? It comes from our connection with the Supreme Being, who is the source of our existence. As they say, “we are all connected.” This understanding is the basis of metaphysical science. The yogi focuses within and finds real pleasure within the self (B.Gita 5.21). Jane grasped this truth and shares this intelligent vision of seeing the equality of all souls. On a plaque at Winchester Cathedral, where Jane’s remains lie, is a quote from Psalms: “She openeth her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

This idea of equality of all beings was the basis of the Declaration of Independence, “…all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with inalienable rights…” This conception is different from recent demands for ‘equality’ based on the body. In fact it is futile and ludicrous to attempt to prove physical equality. Any mundane test you can devise will clearly show that we are, empirically, unequal in terms of intelligence, physical strength, artistic talents, mathematical ability, etc. Yet spiritually we are all equal. Yoga means ‘to connect’– is to see everyone equally and this is the rational basis for being civilized towards others. My teacher writes about this ‘equal vision,’ called, samatvam in sanskrit. This is the solution for the current, disastrous social trend of ‘identity politics.’

“Samatvam, spiritual equality, requires and inspires true compassion, beyond the attachment and hatred that usually infect political and social causes. Such causes, based on duality, sew the seed of future hostility even as they address present conflict.”

A Comprehensive Guide to Bhagavad-Gita-by HD Goswami (pg.68)

A civilized society demands something more important than polished appearances and exhibitions of wealth. It places importance on respecting others. Jane Austen shares the same message in her novels. In Sense and Sensibility, there is a profound transformation in the heroine’s (Eleanor’s), younger sister, Marianne, who was rather clueless about civilized behavior and had a great intolerance for other points of view. She also nearly destroys her physical body by a reckless policy of uncontrolled emotions. Eventually, Marianne comes to value Eleanor’s exceptionally civil behavior and she finally, thoughtfully confesses, “I compare [my behavior] to what it ought to have been. I compare it with yours.” At this point, Marianne becomes a heroine–yay! So there you have it. Jane Austen gave us characters like Marianne (one of my favorites) so that we can feel inspiration to change–even if we are also beginning our journey with somewhat extreme views or sensitivities (called ‘sensibilities’ in Jane’s day). How do such characters work to change us?

They influence us because in a Jane Austen novel, such well-written and famously realistic characters provide not just interesting reading but also a powerful tool for affecting our psychology. This is natural since, if we can appreciate a character as complex and flawed and basically, real enough, then we can be sufficiently affected. Assuming that we are not ‘dull elves’ and have introspection enough, we can catch at Austen’s message and it becomes natural for us to make critical associations and comparisons and to look at ourselves critically in order to improve our own character. This inspires changes to happen in our feelings, mind, motives and it affects the quality of our lives.

Today, every has heard of karma. All mundane actions create a reaction, either good or bad. When we act selfishly or immorally we create bad karma–of course good actions also create good karma. Rule #1: The more wisdom we painlessly adopt, the less suffering from inpulsive actions. For example, when Lizzy Bennett first detects the serious error of her first impressions concerning both Mr. Darcy, and Wickham, she declares, “Until that moment, I hardly knew myself!” When challenged by the formidable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Lizzy courageously sticks to her guns and declares that she owes it to herself to pursue her best life, without reference to the demands of anyone “unconnected” to her. As they say, “You go girl!

Austen is the one to follow. Narcissistic people on social media are unfortunately called ‘influencers.’ We wish they weren’t! Mostly they are engaged in confusing people as to their real self-knowledge. We can also attain the happiness of those who act wisely. Amazingly, Jane makes chastity elegant. Somehow it is natural that (many) people feel sorry that Lydia Bennett chooses to abandon moral principles and run off with Mr. Wickham (P&P). And also we cannot but appreciate that Lizzy and her eldest sister, Jane, also deserve the better results of their more exalted behavior. Elizabeth tells Jane, in Pride and Prejudice, “Until I have your goodness, I cannot have your happiness.” So karma is real and we can learn about goodness by reading Bhagavad-gita (and of course by reading Jane Austen’s novels!). Like a scientist we can discover the distinction between real and false roads to perfect life–and if we are not happy then there must be a reason or an error of judgement in our thinking and actions. We keep learning and adjusting our lives until we reach wisdom, self-knowledge and rational happiness and contentment.

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October 27, 2018 · 9:59 am

Your Best Life – Control the Mind

We all have a little difficulty with our minds occasionally. Anyone who has ever been unable to make a relatively easy decision because their mind kept bouncing back and forth between options knows the feeling of having a ‘monkey’ mind. Something like a bad hair day but having more to do with a glitch in the self-control mechanisms. Someone got it right in a funny song that calls the uncontrolled mind a, “24/7 obscene phone call.” According to wisdom traditions, it is the job of the intelligence to sort and prioritize the almost continuous flow of options being presented by the mind. Almost like a child, the mind requires constant observation and guidance. It also requires the oversight of sufficient intelligence, in order to hold it steady. This is not impossible for anyone engaged in bhakti-yoga. A yogi gains self-control over the senses as a natural result of purifying the intelligence. The yogi is said to have ‘single-minded’ intelligence and yet it requires sincere effort to achieve. In the Bhagavad Gita, it is stated that the mind is more difficult to control than the wind, yet it can be trained by constant practice and ‘detachment.’ For years and lifetimes even, we have been the slave of the mind and its focus on objects of the senses, almost relentlessly and so yoga is the way.

To begin to understand mental self-control we have to think about how the mind, an amazingly impulsive thing on some occasions, has no sense of the practical or the rational. Only the intelligence has this power of discrimination. The mind offers ideas and options every waking hour of the day and you may even find the mind “waiting for you” when you wake up in the morning. This might be called, “waking up on the wrong side of the bed.” The mind is what drags you to the chocolate cake and pizza — for breakfast. It’s that feeling, “I wanna…” even when you know perfectly well that it’s a bad idea or that, “I don’t wanna…” (go to bed, wash the dishes, exercise, etc) and yet your mind seems to (almost) have a mind of its own. On the other hand, picture intelligence as sort of ‘James Bond 007‘ that operates by way of cool, strategic analysis and deliberate plans.  We often regret impulsive acts when we realize (20/20 hindsight, right?) that by engaging the intelligence, difficult choices are made easier and the outcomes, generally, are happier. Philosophers and yogis know this. Mind control is most easily accomplished by yoga practice.

It is by spiritual awareness or, as Jane Austen would say, ‘self-knowledge,’ that we come to the point of ‘single-minded’ intelligence, and we also come to the important point of a certain level of detachment. Spiritual practices, done regularly, counteract the mind’s serious attachment to sense gratification. To put it simply, yoga helps us develop the needed determination to make choices that prioritize intelligence! The only alternative is to abandon our lives to the quasi-insane mental platform–not a great plan for a good life. Here’s a story that might illustrate, in a simply way, what I mean:

I was once camping in a beautiful national park and was thinking of diving into a crystal blue mountain river. It was a perfect day and it was all gorgeous scenery. Anyone could see that a dip would be refreshing.  Unfortunately, my mind was noisily protesting, “I don’t wanna!” Surely the water was cold yet so what? It was rational to seek the coolness of the water on such a warm day. Yet there was my mind…acting up and staging a protest even up to the nano-second before I hit the water.  “Noooooo!” …splash!  It was so amusing to get this chance to catch the mind “in the act” and what the heck was it all about? What was up with all that mental noise?   It was loud. It was obnoxious. And it was the same sort of mental commotion that was going on in the minds of the many people whom I saw standing nearby. Everyone seemed to be staring at the beauty of that blue water and yet no one was going in. Finally, one man approached the river in his swimming trunks. He stood nearby, poised on the edge of the water, and obviously trying to will himself to dive in. He appeared frozen in indecision. I had just come out of the water and, seeing his predicament, I called out, “You want dive into that beautiful water, right?”  He agreed without taking his eyes off the water. I began to coach him, “Pay no attention to that voice in your head.” “Just ignore it and dive in.” He thought for a moment, then he did just that! In a few minutes, and after a few more dives, he thanked me repeatedly and expressed his happiness at not missing out on the experience.  To have helped another person having problems with their mind really struck me. I realized in a very personal way that all living beings have this problem of being beleaguered and paralyzed while ‘stuck’ on the mental platform. We can do something about it, too!

If nothing else, the story above is proof that the mind can be a big party-pooper and will, if unrestrained, lead us around based on impulse and immediate gratification. Just remember that the mind does not ‘think.’ This is why it can sabotage our life and even prevent happiness. The intellect is necessary for making good choices, especially when we are choosing relationships. This is a big Jane Austen theme. In Pride & Prejudice Elizabeth’s youngest sister, Lydia, sadly ruins her life by choosing the wrong man. Her parents do nothing to restrain her wildness. After month of having “nothing but flirtation and officers in her head” she is set on a course for disaster. It is true that Lydia is quite young, only 15, and she is described as having strong ‘animal’ spirits which means that her physical desires will all the more rule over her. Unfortunately she is not given instruction as to how to think ‘seriously’ on topics which will lead to a good life. It is sad to think of anyone making choices that lead to a less-than pleasant future. Many people are very sorry that Lydia makes the worst possible choice in running away with Mr. Wickham. The wise see that some choices create a sort of path of “no return” because some behaviors have enough force to irreversibly destroy our freedom of choice. In some terrible cases, people develop an addiction to drugs and can no longer choose to use them or not. We can understand then, that consistently making good choices is important to having a good life, which centers on a life of freedom.

Jane Austen wrote about making good decisions, and her novels, though entertaining, center around her heroines’ choice of friends and marriage partners. They may initially be misled by some sort of attachment to the wrong people, yet they are sure to come to the point of intelligence, and often just in time.  In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett is almost duped by Mr. Wickham, who has good looks and a soft-spoken sort of manliness. Fortunately, she takes some good advice from her aunt to ‘not be in a hurry’ and this gives her just enough time to find out the truth. In contrast to Elizabeth’s cool and rational behavior, the otherwise sensible Charlotte Lucas professes ‘unsound’ ideas as to what a woman should look for in a husband and, as we find out, make no use of reason in her choice of a marriage partner. Against every finer sense of feeling, she agrees to marry the socially awkward and exceedingly irksome Mr. Collins for the sake of a guaranteed ‘comfortable’ home. She leaves all her good sense behind with this choice.

I know that some Jane Austen readers and critics will justify Charlotte’s behavior by talking about the lack of opportunities for women at that period, yet still, there is no doubt that Jane Austen did not approve of this kind of calculated approach to matrimony. We read that Charlotte was looking for man who could supply her with material stability, yet not at all interested to know the character flaws of the person she was going to marry. Her only interest was for the ‘comfortable’ home. This is blatantly nothing but a ‘taker’ mentality. In contrast, Elizabeth said that she would only be induced to marry when she had found the ‘deepest’ love. She was looking for mutual respect and friendship, not just a good situation. We are sad for Charlotte’s choice because her plan for selfish pleasure will lead her to the most impermanent happiness. This is what Elizabeth is most concerned about as she leaves the newlywed Charlotte in Kent.

“Poor Charlotte! — it was melancholy to leave her to such society! — But she had chosen it with her eyes open; and though evidently regretting that her visitors were to go, she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and all their dependent concerns, had not yet lost their charms.”

Not yet, but eventually… poor Charlotte, indeed! Thus Jane is teaching what the Gita repeatedly confirms, which is that pure love is eternal and based in reality, and therefore our best relationships on earth are not simply those which supply some temporary material comforts. The Gita also defines lower pleasures as, “having a beginning and an end.” Jane hints at the truth that loving relationships are, in fact, not ‘illusory’ when we understand that we are all spiritually connected. Reality means seeing by means of the intelligence, that souls are eternal and that material objects (including our material bodies) are unconscious and temporary and thus are not to be considered a true source of happiness. Of course, we still maintain the body nicely because it is a gift and a vehicle we use to attain spiritual consciousness and happiness.

One may ask, if the first principle according to the Bhagavad-Gita, is to practice control of the mind, then what is the exact mechanism for self-control and how does it occur?  The Gita (3.43) explains that the mind, optimally, works like the reins in controlling five powerful horses, corresponding to the five senses–sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing.  The intelligence is the driver holding the reins and the passenger is the soul, or consciousness.  In the best circumstances, the soul directs the driver-intelligence, which expertly reins in the mind so as to maintain control over the five senses. A favorite example of a consistently intelligent person appears as Mr. Knightley in the novel, Emma. This hero embodies the cool and deliberate nature of intelligence and as a friend, he steps in very regularly to correct Emma’s mischief.  He stands in stark contrast with other characters, even Emma herself. Again, the important point is that in all things yoga and all things Austen, there is a balanced approach and some room to safely experiment. As when riding a horse, one cannot be perpetually pulling on the reins without driving the horse to rebellion, so there’s no need to panic if you have occasional difficulties. The idea is not to repress every normal innocent inclination. In fact, for a serious urge-repressing society, look to England’s Victorian age, which immediately followed the more relaxed Regency period.  My point is that the Gita and Jane Austen’s novels promote a balanced approach.  In Northanger Abbey, our heroine, Catherine Moreland, a very innocent young heroine-in-training, gets into trouble when she allows her imagination to run wild–in the Gothic style of ‘fevered imagination’– with serious suspicions about the hero’s father, General Tilney.   She suffers some temporary mental anguish when the hero discovers her suspicions but she begins to understand the principle of controlling the mind (and her imagination) and all turns out well.


In any case, we may occasionally indulge in chocolate cake or even staying up a little past the usual bedtime–especially when attending a Regency ball!  We only desire that as far as possible the worst consequences are, well, inconsequential. As a friend, and following in the footsteps of Mr. Knightley, I do my best to combine these teachings from the Bhagavad-Gita and Austen’s novels.  I find that they compliment each other very well, even though they were composed thousands of years apart and originate from very different cultures.  Please join me again soon and let me know that you do enjoy them by subscribing or leaving a comment.

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