In the modern idea of love, many people now confuse romantic love with fleeting physical relationships. It may not be the popular thing to say in modern culture, yet a healthy relationship is not what we typically get from “hookups.” This is not about bashing sex. Normal sexuality is not shown in the mainstream media and yet most of us want good friendships and hope to find love. This blog is an intro to “enlightened” romance, which means engaging in a more thoughtful process. Hey, and science agrees with this view. Science shows that, “whenever and wherever” and “no commitment” are not the basis for a rational experience. It’s very shocking also, that young people state that they are engaging in “hookups” simply because their friends expect them to. What kind of “friends” would expect someone to walk into a 100% physical encounter with a total stranger? Yeesh! Actually, the best thing for us is to wait… for that “someone” who deserves your trust and who will be there when you need them. Now, to introduce yoga, which is the real best way of connecting!
Yoga actually (literally) means “connecting,” and the first practice in yoga is to clear up a big mistake. What mistake? The mistake is seeing ourselves as the material body. The body is a vehicle for consciousness, which we all experience. Yoga practice and philosophy free us from “body-consciousness,” which is the mistake of focusing on what is external and temporary, so that we can realize our self. It’s about self-knowledge, which Socrates recommended and which Jane Austen wrote into her novels, literally. Her heroines are seeking self-knowledge, which helps us see that love means giving. If we are focusing on our own physical desires then we focus on getting something (from someone else). “Taking” is the opposite of love. Someone may see another person who attracts them, and they may want to use the body of that person. Obviously, the more we have intense selfishness, it prevents us from thinking of what is good for another person.
What can we do? Well, here’s where Jane and yoga can help. Jane wrote romantic novels that demonstrate the hazards and challenges to finding love. Her novels are sometimes hilarious and very witty. She understood what was involved in seeking a serious relationship with someone, only to find out that they are not the person we imagined them to be. In her novels, the heroines…well, they try their best to be patient and clear-headed. They wait. Yup, they wait until they’ve have had a chance to understand the person whom they are thinking about as a potential partner. During the Regency period (around the late 1700s to early 1800s, the stakes were high (there was no divorce), yet it wasn’t a crap-shoot only for women. Men were (and still are) equally liable to fall in love and “check out” in terms of rational thinking. Omg. It’s such an old story… Here’s a clue:
In Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park, the hero, Edmund Bertram, develops a deep infatuation (not a real understanding or friendship) with the artful and seductive Mary Crawford. Indeed Edmund almost marries her. He initially sees the faults in her thinking and behavior, yet eventually, he caves in to his own “fantasies” and is bewildered. He finds out that she is not the person she seems to be, not even close! It was a case of letting his imagination take over. How many of us have done that! We think we know someone, and then we realize this is not the person we imagined. Many readers find Mary Crawford’s behavior attractive indeed! Well, we feel for them if they ever meet such a deceptive person.
So what is the best way to look for a serious relationship (the only kind that can give us rational and lasting happiness?) Humans are by nature ‘wired’ to seek love, so what does an intelligent person do? How do we sift through the “users” and “takers” out there—and how do we stay rational during those moments when the love endorphins are going full force? Do we need a strategy? We certainly do! Many a love song goes on about this dilemma, right? The first thing to realize, is that we can’t do anything about other people, yet we can protect ourselves from serious consequences and entanglement. It’s a matter of having the right consciousness. This study of consciousness is part of the science of yoga philosophy and this video link (below) is something amazing. It’s a lecture given by my mentor, HD Goswami, on the “whys and hows” that yoga is great for rational life, which is the best way to start understanding “self-knowledge” which is essential for love (and I go more into the topic of love in my blog on Yoga and Aristotle). Links are on this page. Enjoy the video!
This blog is a response to people in agreement with Charlotte’s decision to accept Mr. Collins.
I cannot agree with those women who, in almost in every interview and academic critique, (and without much serious thought, as I will discuss here) that Charlotte was doing the best she could for herself, in her social situation. Certainly it’s very easy to agree that she was. Yet, we might also say the same about gold-diggers, who also fall into the “doing the best they can for themselves” category! Of course, we don’t mean to be too judgemental. After all, so many people marry for money, that it’s almost too common to kvetch about. Still, there are some considerations (ethical) that affect the ultimate happiness of those who make ‘hasty’ decisions while choosing a partner.
Elizabeth Bennett’s “stamp of approval” for her friend’s marriage to Mr. Collins is not given readily. Why? Lizzy explains this later while discussing Charlotte’s odd choice with her sister, Jane). She states that anyone who could think of Mr. Collins as a proper marriage partner has a ‘wrong’ way of thinking, and remember that he had just asked Lizzie to marry him two days before. She refuses him.
Yet seriously, does it really matter, if a woman is simply trying for a comfy home? Actually, it does, and it matters even more when the guy Charlotte chooses is described as silly, conceited, awkward and arrogant. He’s also an odd sort of clergyman, who is narrowly focused on rank and material wealth rather than the refinement of consciousness. He is focused on his things, his house and his prestige and his patroness (Lady Catherine), and works in his garden without any sense of beauty—
“Here, leading the way through every walk and cross walk, and scarcely allowing them an interval to utter the praises he asked for, every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind. He could number the fields in every direction, and could tell how many trees there were in the most distant clump.”
Uh oh. Even on the surface, there’s so little about this man to attract us (ie, physically , emotionally or even in terms of “a beautiful mind”). Sadly for herself, Charlotte forgoes a normal courtship. Courtship is essential, vital and necessary for getting to know the person on whom your “marital happiness” will depend, yet (foolishly), she is disinterested in discovering the truth! She cares nothing about finding out if a marriage with Mr. Collins means she can forget about romance. Oof! As it turns out, happiness with this man is decidedly a lost cause, yet she chooses to go forward for the sake of material security.
“Her reflections were in general satisfactory. Mr. Collins, to be sure, was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still he would be her husband. Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want.”
Attempting to explain her acceptance of Mr Collins to the incredulous Lizzy, Charlotte claims that she has never been “romantic” and that basically all her hopes are centered in a comfy home. Personally, I’m not buying this sad excuse even if academia somehow finds it ‘reasonable.’ This is a perverse and merely ‘transactional’ kind of situation.
Just consider Jane Austen’s (hilarious) description of the courtship between them…
“”The stupidity with which he was favoured by nature must guard his courtship from any charm that could make a woman wish for its continuance”
Perhaps many women think very little of what is wrong with this (thinking very little is exactly the problem here!) and continue to side with Charlotte! Sure, they say, we have a right to marry whomever will have us, as long as we get what we want—a comfortable home!
Jane Austen disagrees. The heroine also disagrees and of course, explains why. It’s because marrying a Mr. Collins is throwing oneself away, like totally, and in a very profound sense. No romantic love, no attraction of any kind. Yet, if I play the devil’s advocate, besides that, what is Charlotte missing? Well, she’s actually missing a heck of a lot. First of all, just considering that divorce was not allowed at that time, unless under very specific circumstances, Charlotte has ties herself to someone who doesn’t appreciate that she (and, frankly all of us) desire and truly need, deeply reciprocal relationships based on love. Mr. Collins simply cannot provide this because he’s absorbed in the external world and simply follows rules without exploring a spiritual science of consciousness (ie, metaphysics or yoga philosophy). Not a friend and not an intelligent person. We shall get into this later. Jane Austen understood these principles very well, which is why she wrote the darn novel (Pride & Prejudice).
Virginia Woolf (1882-1941), expressed her belief that Austen had a much deeper understanding of love than most people. Almost a century later, and like poor Charlotte, many people seem confused. The only cure is to allow Jane Austen to carry us back from the brink of social media’s dreadful influence on intimate relationships.
We suffer from meaningless content on many of the most popular social media sites (ie, a site where we are trying to “get social”) and where many of us spend a good deal of our time. Yet, according to studies, the more we time we spend on social media, the more depressed we become! In fact, many youth are unable to stop. It’s a real crisis especially for young women.
Let’s do an experiment in order to get a better sense of why Jane wrote these novels. I suggest reading Austen on her own terms and she’s all about having and describing the best kinds of friends. So rather than trying to turn all Jane Austen’s characters into something they’re not… That is, her heroines are not sexually loose. They are not ‘gadding about’ in search of their next hookup. The heroes are sincerely interested in marriage, not just trying to get the heroine in bed (of course, there are bad guys in her novels who play with the emotions of women, and some go further than that and ruin women’s lives). Jane Austen considered men who “created an attachment” in a woman without any serious intention to actually marry, was a dispicable person. Dogs, hogs, camels and…assholes!
Note to young people: Love yourself enough not to do hookups just “because your friends expect you to.” No one needs friends that expect you to do something that puts your life in DANGER. Anyone whom you intend to be intimate with, should be someone that you know very very well. This is why decent people generally marry. Intimacy should always be restricted to a person who is committed to you, your happiness, and staying with you throughout life. That is a normal basis for a loving relationship, not these damn hookups. They’re just for using you, and you deserve better. Seriously.
Before we begin trying to appreciate the romance aspect of Jane’s novels, let’s briefly consider her purpose. She wrote six novels (as a witty study of people). The story takes place in a moral universe, making the story more realistic, so sometimes hilarious and sometimes tragic. It’s like a Shakespearean play and Jane has more often been compared to Shakespeare than any other writer! She wrote “metaphysical” literature, which means that she introduces us to a moral universe (which includes karma). Just remember that old saying, “What goes around comes around.”
These novels were meant to teach the path to rational happiness in this life by acting properly. All the great philosophers taught the same thing. During the Enlightenment, and for many centuries, happy endings were once the ‘norm’ in plays with a moral message. Why? Deep down, we all know that living a good life will result in happiness, and living a selfish life means we can expect “bad karma.”
For example, in the novel, Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett is unmarried yet, like most other women, hopes to find a good marriage partner. However she refused to ‘settle’ for a loveless marriage, for the sake of material comfort . Meanwhile her friend Charlotte Lucas thinks that bagging a good marriage partner is all a matter of chance! What went wrong in Charlotte’s choice? She put material Security before love. She actually values money more than a sincere relationship, and Mr. Collins can only be described (even today) as…insufferable. Elizabeth (speaking to her elder sister) states:
“My dear Jane, Mr. Collins is a conceited, pompous, narrow-minded, silly man: you know he is, as well as I do; and you must feel, as well as I do, that the woman who marries him cannot have a proper way of thinking. You shall not defend her, though it is Charlotte Lucas. You shall not, for the sake of one individual, change the meaning of principle and integrity, nor endeavour to persuade yourself or me that selfishness is prudence, and insensibility of danger security for happiness.’
Charlotte Lucas chose to ignore the faults of her marriage partner-to-be and this was before ‘liberal’ divorce laws were enacted. Once married, she’d be stuck for life. Charlotte claimed only to have an interest in “marrying well” and yet ignored a consideration as basic as compatibility. She also rationalized her actions by claiming that she has never been ‘romantic.’ In her mind, “[Marriage] was the only honorable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want.”
Right. No doubt there are many women today who might find this a convincing reason to marry a ‘Mr. Collins.’ Yet, if we are not interested in rational choice, we accept ‘anything’. This cannot be love. Now, as to Elizabeth’s choice, she wants a marriage based on the deepest love. This take on marriage appears quite idealistic and more than what cynical people consider to be rational, yet, at least it rules out marrying someone who is just a “taker.”
Going deeper, if we analyze the ethics taught by Aristotle, friendships may be based in one of three catagories–pleasure, utility or virtue. For example, a friendship based in pleasure would be based simply on using another person’s body for temporary gratification, and motivated by selfish desires. Think of how Lydia Bennett (a foolish and thoughtless character) “left all her friends” and almost wrecked all of her sisters’ chances to marry, in order to run off with the useless and penniless Mr. Wickham. Charlotte’s marriage is based in a ‘friendship’ of utility. She wants a home and her awkward husband wants a wife. That’s all they get. Very little love involved in this kind of arrangement. Still, we get why Charlotte thinks she’s being rational. It’s just that there’s no chance of that relationship ever developing into anything more meaningful.
Indeed, we must point out that seeking a friendship based upon love doesn’t discredit the importance of basic material comfort and solid finances when choosing a marriage partner. However, Lizzy demands more than a mere ‘comfortable home’ because she values, more than anything else, a virtuous partner. Omg. How romantic is that? Very!
For those of us who rarely think about ‘virtue’ we might not understand how very romantic this is. I know that there may be a bit of knee-jerk scepticism and that inward eye-rolling. It just seems too romantic and perhaps irrational. Yet real love exists and we may feel a twinge of dissatisfaction if we deny the natural desire for love. Skeptics are not cornering the market on romance, so relax! This need for love is not true only of women but also of men. It’s so innate and so powerful because it’s part of who we are.
We have that natural, deep connection to each other as eternal spiritual beings. In many relationships today, everything rests on utility and pleasure, not shared values. As we see in every movie based on stories of ‘love at first sight’. In P&P even our heroine Elizabeth is (temporarily) blinded at first by the charms of Mr. Wickham. Luckily she escapes his charms. Lizzie is not about marrying for money. As proof, she rebukes the rich Mr. Darcy for destroying the marriage prospects of her beloved sister Jane. Darcy, who is sincerely in love with Lizzy, eventually sets everything aright and corrects his mistakes. As he said, he would have still remained “a selfish being” without her. A perfect romantic ending is the result.
It is very clear that Charlotte’s choices leave her with only a shadow of the perfect happiness that we see in Elizabeth’s marriage. From the beginning, Charlotte is compelled to go out of her way to arrange her life in order to avoid her husband’s company as much as she can. There are no romantic feelings between them. Another sad truth is brilliantly shown when Mr. Collins, who is proud of his material comforts and position in life, and still apparently holding a grudge against Lizzy for her rejection of his marriage proposal, imagines that she must be feeling remorse. Attempting to rub his matrimonial triumph in her face, he states that he and his wife, Charlotte seem ‘designed’ for each other.” Interestingly, this is the fact.
The malicious Mr. Collins and his indifferent wife are indeed perfectly designed for each other–not as a blessing. On the other hand, Elizabeth and Darcy treasure and respect each other. He is her perfect partner, a classy man who is intelligent, generous and concerned about her. Austen makes the vast difference between Elizabeth and Charlotte’s situation very clear. Darcy is also very wealthy, so Elizabeth has not thrown herself away for love.
I am truly sorry that Charlotte chose to blindly accept such an awkward and foolish man, just as I am always amazed at those who find themselves with the wrong, sometimes very wrong, partner. It is best to be honest about this type of self-delusion. I’ve been there.
It seems that those few articles and videos that defend Charlotte’s choice might be misleading their readers by ignoring what Austen has set up her novels to do—which is to make us think more deeply about what our best happiness looks like. Lizzy herself laments-
“Poor Charlotte! It was melancholy to leave her to such society! But she had chosen it with her eyes open;… she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and all their dependent concerns, had not yet lost their charms.“
Austen here expresses her own feelings through the heroine Elizabeth, who feels as a friend must feel especially because she predicts that her friend will not be contented after the ‘charms’ of the honeymoon phase are ended. I hope that this will help clarify Jane’s message of self-knowledge.
Here is a link to a wonderful talk by Professor John Mullan, who goes into the comic and tragic awkwardness of Charlotte’s marriage situation. If you enjoyed this blog please do subscribe.
Happiness is the result of practice. Everyone is seeking happiness, yet what is the path? How do we find it? The answer leads us to reconnect, by devotion, with our Source, which is the reason for our existence. As we are conscious beings who seek friendships and loving relationships, it is rational and natural to expect the origin of our existence to be a conscious and loving personal Being. Otherwise, if our source was just an impersonal glowing ‘radiance,’ it would be strange if it had a desire to create anything, what to speak of creating this world full of personal beings, who seek love and loving connections with other people, with our children, with friends and others. The ancient process or practice for attaining happiness is called, bhakti-yoga, (bhakti means devotional and yoga means ‘connection.’) To connect with this Source is the goal, and if anyone has had a bad experience with the term, “God,” we accept that there are millions of names (so we don’t get hung up on the name). We like the Sanskrit name, Krishna, because it means “all-attractive.”
In this world, although attraction, friendship and love are what give us the greatest pleasure, we often find unhappiness or disappointment, when seeking love. Why does this have to be the case? The main cause is when relationships become complicated by conflicting desires, or if one or both persons become focused on their own pleasure. First, by allowing lust and selfishness to intrude, which is a very common mistake that people often fall into. In this age, we are living in a society that has little information as to our true self, and by misidentifying ourselves with our body, when we are actually spiritual beings doing business as humans, we lose our ability to be rational and to be really loving towards others. When we lack this self-knowledge, our priority becomes taking (expressing selfishness) rather than giving (love is expressed by giving), instead we feel a strong “need” to use another person, either for sex or some other purpose. This intense selfishness is incompatible with our desire to have deeply loving relationships.
To get a little more clarity, let’s take the scenic route to “yoga philosophy” by looking at love through the idea of ‘pure’ romance. According to Jane, in any relationship where selfishness prevails, the “happily ever after” never happens. Only loving friendships give this type of satisfactory experience. This was understood long ago by the philosopher Aristotle. He categorizes three types of relationships: These are motivated by either utility, pleasure or ‘pure’ friendship. In a relationship based on ‘utility,’ one person is being more or less, used. Not good. The same goes for ‘friendships’ where it’s simply for the pleasure of one person, and not a mutually loving thing. Of course, one-sided relationships are also inferior. Taking without also reciprocating is not love and takers do not make good friends, or lovers. Finally, there are relationships of pure loving friendship, in which both parties care about each other and have mutual respect.
Here’s the amazing thing about Jane’s novels. They illustrate the highest love, in the mode of pure friendship which is why they are generally considered to be the most romantic ever written. Therefore it may seem strange to hear scholars call attention to her ‘anti-romantic’ stance. What does this mean?
We will need to distinguish Aristotelian ‘pure’ love (ie, what may be mistaken for anti-romance), from the very superficial “love” which is based completely in the “physical gratification” aspect of relationships. Understanding the difference in quality between these relationships is what Jane does so elegantly.
Jane encourages us to use our intelligence and to love, intelligently. Her heroines are careful when they find themselves getting that ‘crush’ on a guy. I find it nice too, that they usually get good advice (often just in time!) from a wise friend or an aunt or a cousin. When the love endorphins kick in, we can fall victim to that semi-mindless state which causes us to stop thinking and then it’s all downhill. This is stupid love when we rush into relationships, and ignore all the signs that the person has no intention of reciprocating. In that case, what can we expect but unhappiness? Stupid love is not romance and, “But I love him/her” is not a compelling argument. This is more like choosing “wishful thinking.” Somehow people get into relationships with people…where it’s sort of like climbing into one of those machines that grinds up tree branches! The character of a person takes time to understand, so resist the urge to risk everything before you really know what you are investing in. It takes time so this is a test of one’s patience and character, despite all the hormones.
Jane’s heroines feel those strong feelings of attraction, yet what keeps them out of the power of the wrong guy has to do with philosophy and self-knowledge. Again, it helps to get reality checks from wise friends, not from people who tend to confuse love with lust. A little caution is good because…for example, Jane’s villainous “cads” (a sort of old-fashioned word that means a guy who isn’t serious about love)…these guys often seem like perfect gentlemen–at first. Another reason to be cautious is not just about NOT falling for the wrong guy. It’s also helpful to keep our eyes open for when the right guy comes along. In Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, the heroine finally realized that she had the bad guy mixed up with the good one. “There certainly was some mismanagement…one has all the goodness and the other has all the appearance of it” (P&P). After unpacking the mix up between the good and the bad, the path to the “true happy ending” is SOoo easy.
My conclusion after 12 years of reading Jane’s works, is that she understood the need for pure love, for real happiness. The soul’s normal condition is to be absorbed in loving relationships so if we look at this from the point of view of a yogi who is trying to reconnect to our Source, we can think about how a relationship works. Actually, when you are dealing with the Supreme, the source of everything, what else do we have to offer? In the Gita, one of the most famous verses is the Lord’s request,
“Engage your mind always in thinking of Me, offer obeisances and worship Me. Being completely absorbed in Me, surely you will come to Me”(9.34).
Jane teaches this principle of pure love in her novels and Bhagavad-gita gives us the philosophical basis for reconnecting to our source with devotion. Once we ‘plug into’ that source it becomes easy to love others and to discover ourselves. Win-win situation!
Dear readers, it’s been a good long time since my last blog. What can I say? I was in the wilds of Alaska. After a long, long 18 months, it was time to get back to the lower 48. I’m happy to again have the time to jump back into my blog!
My teacher once stated that if we were fully enlightened, we would understand the reality of all souls as unimaginably beautiful beings. We are simply conscious beings “DBA” (doing business as) humans and it is a mistake to misidentify ourselves as these temporary material bodies, or to identify with all the thoughts that enter our heads. What is the true self or consciousness and how do we rediscover self? The good news about yoga philosophy is that the process is so easy. Only it takes a little intelligence and sincerity and then, of course, Jane Austen’s novels.
Jane is widely recognized as a literary genius and demands her readers’ full attention. She once wrote in a letter, “I do not write for such dull elves as have not a great deal of ingenuity themselves.” In other words, she put her genius to work in creating her novels and, in reciprocation perhaps, would naturally expect her readers to roll up their sleeves and “have a think” about her purpose in writing and to discover the exceptional moral universe she illustrates. In this media-saturated environment, the ‘metaphysical’ aspect is not well understood by modern readers, although 250 years ago, during the height of The Enlightenment, philosophy and metaphysics were at the center of public discussion. Anyone reading Jane’s novels at that time understood her skill in focusing on proper behavior and amazingly, she did this without being preachy. Jane also charmed and entertained readers by the author’s realism in her depictions of character and witty dialogue. The romantic aspect is significant (we will speak more on this later), yet it is clear that much of the action describes heroes and heroines striving for self-control and understanding proper behavior, often under trying circumstances, and usually when dealing with seriously ‘ill-bred’ and even downright rude behavior by acquaintances. Of course, all the novels have happy endings and therefore fall under the category of comedies as opposed to tragedies, except perhaps in the case of Mansfield Park, which has to fight against the wrenching virtual demolition of the family and local neighborhood. It has more of a rational than romantic ending, although I must say that Fanny Price does live happily ever after!
Diving in, it must be noted that in many movie adaptations (and some academic reviews…grrr!) of Jane’s most demanding novel, Mansfield Park, the heroine, Fanny Price, is often misrepresented. This greatly affects the message of the story, in a negative way, by obscuring the importance and significance of the heroine. Perhaps this is a result of being out of touch with “the norms” of the age in which the novels were written. Especially in movie adaptations, and ignoring what was important to the author, the directors try to “sex up” Fanny, rather than giving her the latitude to be the amazingly strong character that she is. Certainly, Fanny Price is unusually meek and timid, yet she is worth understanding even if not even close to what the modern reader considers a typical heroine (she requires a bit of explaining)!
In yoga philosophy, as well as true classical philosophy, as taught by Socrates (‘know thyself’), and similarly in Buddhism, anyone seeking to attain happiness needs to find a peaceful mental condition. And a peaceful mind is based in rationality, as opposed to our modern tendency to spend a lot of time absorbed in ‘extreme’ activities and external stimulation such as addiction to social media. Such a ddictions are unhealthy and children are, according to experts, getting dumber by having access to The self-realized person would say this: Confusing stimulation for happiness is very sad because the happiness we seek is already there within us. There is an unlimited source of internal happiness which doesn’t require anything else, it doesn’t require retail therapy or a ‘consumer’ mindset. This is why Americans and many countries now, are swamped with advertising. Knowledge of self is the best thing as it is perfection. As Krishna states in the Gita, we connect with eternal happiness through this knowledge, and, knowing this, “nothing remains to be known.” That is such an interesting statement, and we can explore this amazing knowledge and the power it gives us, by looking at this concept through Jane Austen’s novel, Mansfield Park, which addresses “cool-headed” rational thinking and its connection to a good life.
In Mansfield Park, we find the Bertram family in various states of willful unawareness. The aunt, Mrs. Norris, obsesses over small savings by her domestic “economy” and takes charge of everything (owing to the amazing sloth of her sister, Lady Bertram). Yet Mrs Norris is ultimately oblivious to the wellbeing of her niece, Maria, who is the eldest daughter of Sir Bertram. Maria is endlessly flattered into vanity and convinced that she has attained every perfection. Maria’s younger sister, Julia is also vain yet being the younger sister and less handsome saves her from the extreme vanity which leaves Maria completely vulnerable to idle flattery from the likes of cold-hearted Henry Crawford. The poor cousin, Fanny Price, (the story’s amazingly timid, meek and unexpectedly courageous heroine), unexpectedly finds herself next in line for Henry’s calculated attentions. In fact, poor Fanny gets the worst of it, as she is under greater pressure from her uncle, Sir Thomas and her relations, to capitulate to Crawford’s proposals. He is wealthy and has many alluring talents (which many readers fall for), yet Fanny cannot forget the blatant cruelty to her cousins, and especially his cruel abandonment of Maria, and she sees his words as meaning nothing. Seeing her moral integrity and sweetness, Henry develops a somewhat real attraction to Fanny and unleashes his considerable powers and charms to woo her. Fanny finds herself in a serious predicament as to whether Henry is still the same old selfish and vain “Henry,” yet she is still devoted to her oblivious cousin Edmund, who is himself smitten by Henry’s sister Miss Crawford, who is beautiful, charming and as vain and selfish as her brother. Mansfield Park is a good lesson in understanding the dangers of individual narcissism.
Amazingly, some readers fall for Henry Crawford despite Jane Austen making it perfectly clear that he is the epitome of insincerity in a lover. DULL ELF alert! …Jane Austen expects her readers to have a THINK about what Henry is doing to the women in this novel. Specifically, as to ‘trifling’ with the affections of a woman, as in the abominable behavior of Henry towards Maria, it must be said that theno one involved thought it better to have loved and lost. When men engage in “creating an attachment” (essentially, it’s when the man creates strong feelings in the woman, and the expectation of a proposal of marriage, without any intention of doing so), Jane Austen considered it barbarious. It is unthinkable that modern women would fall for this character, Henry, in spite of the outrageous irreparable damage to the Bertram Family, that his behavior causes. Jane wrote this novel as a warning and some readers take it as a titillating description of a charmingly flirtatious man, just as Maria Crawford, (no model of goodness or integrity herself), speaks of it. Her casual ‘remedy’ for the situation is what finally tips off Edmund that she also, is not a good person!
So how do we avoid being duped by our own vanity? We wallow in a culture that tells us to believe that we are flawless, while social media pretends that the inner self doesn’t exist. We are constantly given the message of placing importance on the physical body, yet we are “giving up the substance for shadow” as we have no idea how beautiful we already are (as spiritual beings). The only ‘cure’ is to reconnect with ourselves and our real spiritual identity. Bhakti-Yoga practice satisfies and reveals our inner self through the rediscovery of the Source of our existence. Jane Austen actually used the word, “meditation” in her novels, and her heroines often retreat to their rooms for that purpose. Interestingly, special rooms were built in the homes (of the rich usually). These room were called ‘closets‘–which were made for the purpose of allowing the owner the luxury of just being alone. Back in the Regency era, people actually valued time spent alone and in meditative contemplation. They were aware that sitting quietly or walking in nature helped to calm the mind. What Jane’s heroines were doing when they engaged in a few moments of meditation then, is something that many thousands of people are doing today…and if we do this practice daily, it bestows what we all desire, namely focus and serenity. Perhaps this sounds too good to be true yet science backs it up. I love science and will be inserting as much science-based information as possible so keep clicking on those links. Bhakti-yoga is also a spiritual science that is based in eastern wisdom.
As for what kind of perks come with Jane and Bhakti-yoga practice, yes there are indeed concrete benefits for the brain. One way to boost our consciousness is a good Jane Austen binge-reading session. My 10 year binge was amazingly therapeutic. Science (seriously) agrees. According to one Stanford study, our brain under the influence of Jane Austen is a brain in therapy. Who knew? Well, someone must have known because her novels were even used as therapy for shell-shocked soldiers of WWI and even that ultimate tough-guy, Winston Churchill was a fan. Beside all this, many intellectuals, philosophers and science-minded readers of her novels admit to finding great comfort in her depictions of a moral universe, because it portrays reality in a way that ‘makes sense.’ Some of us remember when the world used to make sense. Ah, nostagia!
The really good news is that you can begin from wherever you are at right now and can access what Jane called self-knowledge, or as it is called today, self-realization, through an easy metaphysical process called bhakti-yoga. I am still trying to learn the luxury of, ‘sleeping’ on decisions. Sometimes our worst choices can be based on emotional, financial and physical impulses. We can save ourselves from such impulses simply by the practice of meditation on our Source (there are many names for God, and my favorite is the Sanskrit name, Krishna, which means, “all-attractive”). Otherwise, there are many cheaters who are on the lookout for fools (or someone having a weak moment and acting impulsively).
Click here to watch an excellent lecture on the philosophy of yoga given by my mentor and the founder of Krishna West, HD Goswami. As HD Goswami explains, the basis of bhakti is clearly explained in the wisdom-text from India, known as the Bhagavad-gita, or The Song of God (order here). In the Gita, we are invited to venture into a reawakening of self through devotion. To act from the deepest pure love is actually the highest form of yoga or connection with our source. In the Gita, one is assured of ‘swift’ deliverance from material suffering by infusing all actions and offerings with devotion. In this way we can gradually reawaken our eternal relationship with the original source of our existence. This a beautiful and powerfully effective process and we are sharing it freely with all. As my teacher explains:
“The word “yoga” comes from the Sanskrit root Yuj which means to link with, or combine. Bhakti-yoga means to connect to the Supreme by means of loving devotional service.” –H.D. Goswami
Jane Austen wrote what are considered the most romantic novels ever written–and with nary a kiss between lover and beloved. In England, at that time, kissing a woman, at least publicly, meant kissing her hand. Only if she offered it, not otherwise! Men would also never presume to oblige a woman to shake hands. They would offer their hand as assistence, if she was entering or exiting a carriage, for example. While pondering the old social etiquette, we might also take a few minutes to consider, more than superficially, what kind of person is worthy of our love.
Jane Austen’s heroines are excellent mentors for real people dealing with bad friends, bad lovers —or jerks! Heroines go head-to-head with some pretty egotistical characters. No love lost on these types. Just consider the Thorpes’ mind games in Northanger Abbey. Remember the evil strategies of the Crawfords in Mansfield Park. And we can’t forget the insufferable meddling of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, in Pride & Prejudice. Omg! Still, Jane’s young and (sometimes) naive heroines deal effectively with the Dark Side of the Force.
Life improves dramatically when we are thoughtful and rational. Therefore Jane’s higher characters get better partners and rational happiness while the ‘lesser’ characters, whose actions and words show their indifference to others, end up with, well, awkward partners and situations. Some even choose these bad partners with their eyes ‘open’ which is a huge mistake for anyone wanting a happy life. Jane depicts every step and nearly every thought on the path to the wrong marriage partner.
In Mansfield Park, Henry Crawford destroys a family by intentionally raising romantic ‘expectations’ in the Bertram sisters. His attentions create an “emotional attachment,” yet he has no plans to marry! Jane Austen considered this nothing less than… barbaric. Enter the timid Fanny Price. She is the only one not fooled by Henry Crawford. Where does she get this wisdom? By self-knowledge, which keeps her from falling into a serious case of vanity. Henry works on women by using flattering deceit —and he is deceived even as to his own motives. Bad guy. Fanny sees this. Her highly educated cousins, who absorb their minds in all the niceties of external society and polished manners cannot. Fanny is silent and observant. Her mind is fixed in yoga practice and she sees the truth.
The first priority is to know ourselves. Consciousness is eternal and naturally blissful, in its pure state. A simple connection with our Source (simultaneously ourselves) can change our lives. When the sun rises it lights up everything. Self-knowledge can be our saving! In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett’s life is forever changed after reading Mr. Darcy’s letter. As she discovered the truth she understood, “Until that moment I never knew myself!” Excellent breakthrough moment! By the way, in the 1800s, happy endings were the norm in any literature with a moral message. Jane Austen’s message was that happiness is the result of a good life and, even today, many people would agree with this.
We might wonder why many movies are so cynical about love. Love stories are not often about love, but lust. This is a messed up sort of love. We may believe that rational happiness is not “racy” enough or that romantic happiness lacks realism. Yet there are even some animal species that mate for life so why deny the possibility for humans to grow-or to have healthy romances? I believe that any message that denies the possibility of normal human relationships cannot be psychologically healthy.
The truth is, that witty and rational characters are more interesting, and their struggles also tend to inspire us. Hey, if romantic happiness is not to be expected, then what else of ‘transcendent’ importance do we have to live and aspire for? It is sign of these narcissistic times that we hardly understand the basics of good relationships —or the fact that civility and respect are necessary for romantic love. This is why I love Jane Austen’s novels.
Many folks see nothing wrong with Charlotte Lucas’ choice of Mr. Collins as a partner yet the fact is that Jane Austen meant to create a stark contrast. There is a significant difference between Charlotte’s ideas about matrimony, and the heroine, Elizabeth’s. We are first presented with what a romance should definitely not look like. Poor Charlotte Lucas chooses her marriage partner so unwisely that hers was a comfortable home “only when the owner could be forgot” and her domestic arrangements were prioritized by how well they assisted her in avoiding her husband’s company! Mr. Collins was a “conceited, pompous, narrow-minded, silly” man and yet Charlotte would overlook everything but the ‘comfortable’ home. Charlotte’s marriage may be considered ‘prudent’ as to fortune —nothing more! Here’s a link to Professor John Mullan speaking on the marriage of Charlotte and Mr. Collins (who ironically tells Elizabeth that he and his wife seem to have been “designed for each other”). Truer words were never spoken as neither truly loves the other. In contrast, Elizabeth states that, “Iam determined that only the deepest love will induce me into matrimony,” and she waits for the right person. She doesn’t settle.
One more thought: Some people claim that Mr. Darcy’s wealth was the primary reason for Elizabeth choosing him as a partner, this can be easily proved false. If her choice had been all about money and a comfortable home, Lizzy would not have rejected his first proposal. Furthermore, if she had accepted Mr. Darcy before he had changed for the better, her marriage would have been no better than Charlotte’s and probably much worse. The happy ending is in large part earned by Elizabeth’s higher character and also by her accepting the good advice of her aunt, Mrs. Gardiner, who cautions her against the villainous Mr. Wickham.
In Jane’s description of a romance based in the ‘deepest’ love, we find love based in true friendship! Elizabeth considers her friend’s situation as something to think of with concern:
“Poor Charlotte! it was melancholy to leave her to such society! But she had chosen it with her eyes open;… she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and all their dependent concerns, had not yet lost their charms.“
In Jane Austen’s day, people were quite aware of the amazing effects of meditation. Even 200 years ago, Jane chose the word, ‘meditation,’ (seriously, it’s in her novels), to describe her heroine’s sitting in contemplation (as a religious activity) or as a means for becoming calm and relaxed.”[24 This was her heroines’ strategy for mental balance. For everyone and at all times, it is an amazing practice for a healthy psychology, rational perspective and freedom from anxiety.
Meditation is a the only true panacea, clearing negativity and promoting an evolution from confusion to enlightenment, from negativity and The Dark Side of the Force to, you know, your better ‘elf. (Jane did not appreciate dull elves, “[Who] have not a great deal of ingenuity themselves.”) Of course, we would like to be anything but dull and besides, meditation purifies the mind for the low, low price of just a few minutes of your time! Purification of consciousness trains the mind to be nice–actually it trains the mind to be nice to you!
No more raging mind is a blessing!
The names of God have the power to pull the mind away from darkness and wise people have been practicing meditation for thousands of years. Mantra meditation is most effective in this age. (‘Man‘ means mind and ‘tra‘ means to ‘free’ (from anxiety). By the way, anyone traumatized by the ‘God’ concept, can think of it as addressing the source of our existence. It works for those who ‘work’ it.)
I will explain a bit further as to why the name of Krishna is my choice (Krishna is a Sanskrit word meaning “All-attractive”). It means one who possesses, unlimited beauty, wealth, fame, knowledge, strength, power and renunciation. Imagine if an extraordinarily beautiful, powerful, famous. renounced or rich person walked into the room. We would be attracted. It would not be an intellectual decision, rather it would be completely natural. Sometimes we hear of a billionaire giving away money in charity (an act of great renunciation), we are naturally impressed. As the possessor of every opulence in full, Krishna is naturally most attractive as well as being the very source of our existence. Krishna is the Supreme Person which means we can have a personal and loving relationship with God. Such an amazing thing to think about.
Unfortunately we are living in such an unbalanced world, one which contributes to our ignorant condition. Yet, by meditation, we reawaken our dormant spiritual consciousness and find relief from stress and anxiety because we reestablish ourselves in the best state of pure consciousness. As is stated in many scriptures, the supreme is present in the sound of His (and Her) divine names. Any holy names will do, yet the Krishna mantra is the perfect antidote to this crazy world. It packs unlimited potency to break through the ignorance of this age. I want to share it with you, and hope you will experience it for yourself-and share it with others. (Of course you will because your friends will want to know how you became so peaceful and content!)
The founder and spiritual mentor of our society, who is affectionately called Prabhupada (pronounced “pra-boo-pa-da”), explains the way mantra meditation works:
Krishna Consciousness is not an artificial imposition on the mind; this consciousness is the original energy of the living entity. When we hear the transcendental vibration, this consciousness is revived…This chanting of Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, is directly enacted from the spiritual platform, and thus this sound vibration surpasses all lower strata of consciousness–namely sensual, mental and intellectual… As such anyone can take part in the chanting without any previous qualification…
To bring The Force into your life, try chanting the names of Krishna, Hare (pronounced “hu-ray”) and Rama (pronounced “Rah-mah”) every day. Here is a link that further explains the mantra. A little chanting goes a long way. Think of it as a sort of mental hygiene. Even 20-30 minutes in the morning before your day starts will make a big difference in your peace of mind. It is so easy that you can chant anywhere and any time, while driving, taking a walk or cooking dinner. George Harrison of ‘The Beatles’ enjoyed chanting and wrote many songs that glorify Krishna. “My Sweet Lord” was one of his most popular tunes. I’ve been chanting for over 40 years and it only gets better. Here is a link explaining the mantra. It is interesting that Saint Theresa of Avila (pictured above) recommended 2 hours of mediation per day and that is what I do myself. It is wonderful. I hope that you will try it and experience a life of freedom and happiness.
In Winchester cathedral, on a wall near Jane Austen’s remains, there is a lovely quotation from Psalms, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.’ She was mentioned in the same sentence as Shakespeare more often than any other writer. She was mistress of wit, humor and irony and also much truth and wisdom. Her heroines speak philosophy (“philo” or “love of” with “sophia” or wisdom). Wise words are even spoken by flawed characters. Very realistic since most of us are flawed characters, yet we sometimes get insights. In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett (our heroine) begins to understand herself as she pieces together the cause of her past prejudice which keeps her ignorant of Mr. Wickham’s duplicity and blind to Mr. Darcy’s worth. She analyzes herself in this way:
Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself.” –Elizabeth Bennett, Chapter 36
It can be challenging to face our flaws and to really know ourselves and besides that we have to deal with the effects of the modern world. Honestly, when does modern social media or any media promote wisdom? Trusting political propaganda and materialistic leaders who lead us further from the truth, in their quest for a bigger slice of the ‘pie,’ then what force is there to bring us back from the edge of complete illusion? Where do we find knowledge related to consciousness? How do we get access to wisdom and philosophical contemplations? We are far from being interested in this kind of knowledge, due to misunderstanding ourselves to be the body. People are also slogging so hard that they are almost too tired and stressed to stop and think about what a peace life would look like.
It’s very sad to see entire populations so misled. Here we are, these amazingly beautiful eternal beings and yet we are bombarded by idiotic materialistic messages. How can we become a little more rational and really know ourselves? (By the way, if you are interested in either Jane Austen’s novels or the Bhagavad-Gita, please scroll down to the bottom, or you can click on links to order them!(
Consider the probabilities if self-delusion in the modern world. when virtually every moment, we are encouragedto be as narcissistic as possible, We are told that we are perfect and flawless (or plastic surgery can make us flawless). Another example? No problem! Many universities now coddle students in so-called ‘Safe Spaces’ because some of them, like infants, still believe that they are the center of the universe and are unable to encounter anyone holding a different opinion from their own! Hearing an opposing opinion becomes a medical emergency. Universities have always been places where the open exchange of ideas was an a learning opportunity. Jane would not approve of this kind of lame intolerant attitude towards new ideas. What is happening to our culture and how does society become so warped and irrational? Our rational faculties are being weakened, controlled and blinded by vanity. It was, “vanity working on a weak mind” that misleads Harriet in the novel, Emma. Absorbed in vanity, we forget truth and intrinsic values, such as those found in philosophy. We become easy targets for the flattery of advertising agencies, social media and social acceptance. The soul is full of knowledge and real happiness. We simply need to reconnect. How do we return our minds to a state of objectivity and the force of honest evaluation of ourselves? For truth seekers, there is a spiritual practice. Bhakti-yoga.
I compare finding the path to self-knowledge to Lizzy Bennet’s getting that important letter from Mr. Darcy. Before the letter she was positively consumed in thoughts about his apparent incivility, and after the letter she is finally able to do away with all her ignorant notions and prejudiced ideas and sort out her heroes from her villains. Mr. Darcy’s good information gave her the roadmap to finding her way back to the truth, and to finding her way to happiness. She even declares, “Til this moment I never knew myself.” Exposure to the truth is such a cathartic experience! From this moment Lizzy “could only think of her letter”…and of course the happy ending follows. When one gains this knowledge of self understanding, the effect is something like being obsessed by the happiness of knowing. Otherwise, like Lizzy, before her letter, the mind spins us round and round, and we never arrive at a solution
My own teacher-mentor introduced me to dear Jane and it changed my life. Before that, I had persistent yet vague intuitions in the department of self-understanding and knew that my life was not proceeding in a positive direction yet I had no idea how to actually live and to change my consciousness. It was like being stuck on that train “going nowhere. I was sincere and did a lot of praying yet there was a bad experience with a bad teacher-mentor and there were also people who tried to convince me to give up my search. They only wanted to control and exploit me and were not my friends. I sometimes compared my experience to poor Catherine Moorland in Northanger Abbey, who was tormented by the conniving (Isabella and John) Thorpe siblings who were shamelessly manipulating her. After a while she became aware of their schemes and was able to escape them. In this world there are many who have similar agendas, despite being educated. Northanger Abbey teaches us that we may have to fight against such people to attain our freedom and that we must appreciate and search out good society. Catherine stays the course and recognizes her real friends (Mr. Tilney and his sister), and the ‘happily ever after’ follows, of course. There is a relevant verse from Bhagavad-gita (Ch. 2. verse 41) which says that those who are sincerely following this path of self-knowledge are ‘single-minded’ and their ‘aim is one.’ It is the focused determination of the yogi (or yogini in the case of ladies engaged in this process).
Like many Americans, I had a desire to be rational and scientific about existential questions and yet science cannot explain consciousness, and scientists are also becoming more and more aware of the irrationality of claims that life is explained by chemical processes and pushing back. Here is an amazing lecture by James Tour (a brilliant, serious organic chemist) explaining the impossibility of life happening by chance. Bumping into this meditation practice and meeting my teacher was truly my good fortune. Now, I am so interested in Jane Austen’s novels and the spiritual science of yoga that is found in the teachings of Bhagavad-gita. Both books are gifts that help us gain better awareness of ourselves. The honest scientist must be open to a serious exploration of consciousness, and to a rational journey into higher consciousness. I hope you will continue with us in our path to self-knowledge (self-realization) and if you are then please do Like and subscribe.
“Instant Karma” videos on YouTube can be quite interesting. Usually someone is engaged in risky or illegal actions and is rewarded with injury, arrest or even death. When I watch ‘Darwin’ Awards videos, my first thought is, “this guy or woman (it’s often a guy!) really didn’t have to do this! Why are they acting so willfully oblivious to consequences?” Consequences are another name for karma, which refers to the universal law of ‘action and reaction’ or, “what goes around, comes around.” Essentially, karma is a function of universal justice. It’s like a mirror used to give us a better view of our behavior. For example, Jane Austen took civility very seriously. The Regency era was a polite one. High class people considered their duty to society. Considering the lack of karmic awareness in the modern world–and maybe because things began to change her time–Jane wrote about the personal dealings between a variety of high and low characters and the varieties of consequences–sometimes tragic and sometimes comic. In her novels, and also in the timeless spiritual text, Bhagavad-Gita, we learn about acting with the understanding of an essential connection between souls. This is the “duty” part.
If we are interested in reality, we may think of our universal connection with all other beings. Why do we feel this? It comes from our connection with the Supreme Being, who is the source of our existence. As they say, “we are all connected.” This understanding is the basis of metaphysical science. The yogi focuses within and finds real pleasure within the self (B.Gita 5.21). Jane grasped this truth and shares this intelligent vision of seeing the equality of all souls. On a plaque at Winchester Cathedral, where Jane’s remains lie, is a quote from Psalms: “She openeth her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”
This idea of equality of all beings was the basis of the Declaration of Independence, “…all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with inalienable rights…” This conception is different from recent demands for ‘equality’ based on the body. In fact it is futile and ludicrous to attempt to prove physical equality. Any mundane test you can devise will clearly show that we are, empirically, unequal in terms of intelligence, physical strength, artistic talents, mathematical ability, etc. Yet spiritually we are all equal. Yoga means ‘to connect’– is to see everyone equally and this is the rational basis for being civilized towards others. My teacher writes about this ‘equal vision,’ called, samatvam in sanskrit. This is the solution for the current, disastrous social trend of ‘identity politics.’
“Samatvam, spiritual equality, requires and inspires true compassion, beyond the attachment and hatred that usually infect political and social causes. Such causes, based on duality, sew the seed of future hostility even as they address present conflict.”
A Comprehensive Guide to Bhagavad-Gita-by HD Goswami (pg.68)
A civilized society demands something more important than polished appearances and exhibitions of wealth. It places importance on respecting others. Jane Austen shares the same message in her novels. In Sense and Sensibility, there is a profound transformation in the heroine’s (Eleanor’s), younger sister, Marianne, who was rather clueless about civilized behavior and had a great intolerance for other points of view. She also nearly destroys her physical body by a reckless policy of uncontrolled emotions. Eventually, Marianne comes to value Eleanor’s exceptionally civil behavior and she finally, thoughtfully confesses, “I compare [my behavior] to what it ought to have been. I compare it with yours.” At this point, Marianne becomes a heroine–yay! So there you have it. Jane Austen gave us characters like Marianne (one of my favorites) so that we can feel inspiration to change–even if we are also beginning our journey with somewhat extreme views or sensitivities (called ‘sensibilities’ in Jane’s day). How do such characters work to change us?
They influence us because in a Jane Austen novel, such well-written and famously realistic characters provide not just interesting reading but also a powerful tool for affecting our psychology. This is natural since, if we can appreciate a character as complex and flawed and basically, real enough, then we can be sufficiently affected. Assuming that we are not ‘dull elves’ and have introspection enough, we can catch at Austen’s message and it becomes natural for us to make critical associations and comparisons and to look at ourselves critically in order to improve our own character. This inspires changes to happen in our feelings, mind, motives and it affects the quality of our lives.
Today, every has heard of karma. All mundane actions create a reaction, either good or bad. When we act selfishly or immorally we create bad karma–of course good actions also create good karma. Rule #1: The more wisdom we painlessly adopt, the less suffering from inpulsive actions. For example, when Lizzy Bennett first detects the serious error of her first impressions concerning both Mr. Darcy, and Wickham, she declares, “Until that moment, I hardly knew myself!” When challenged by the formidable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Lizzy courageously sticks to her guns and declares that she owes it to herself to pursue her best life, without reference to the demands of anyone “unconnected” to her. As they say, “You go girl!
Austen is the one to follow. Narcissistic people on social media are unfortunately called ‘influencers.’ We wish they weren’t! Mostly they are engaged in confusing people as to their real self-knowledge. We can also attain the happiness of those who act wisely. Amazingly, Jane makes chastity elegant. Somehow it is natural that (many) people feel sorry that Lydia Bennett chooses to abandon moral principles and run off with Mr. Wickham (P&P). And also we cannot but appreciate that Lizzy and her eldest sister, Jane, also deserve the better results of their more exalted behavior. Elizabeth tells Jane, in Pride and Prejudice, “Until I have your goodness, I cannot have your happiness.” So karma is real and we can learn about goodness by reading Bhagavad-gita (and of course by reading Jane Austen’s novels!). Like a scientist we can discover the distinction between real and false roads to perfect life–and if we are not happy then there must be a reason or an error of judgement in our thinking and actions. We keep learning and adjusting our lives until we reach wisdom, self-knowledge and rational happiness and contentment.
We all have a little difficulty with our minds occasionally. Anyone who has ever been unable to make a relatively easy decision because their mind kept bouncing back and forth between options knows the feeling of having a ‘monkey’ mind. Something like a bad hair day but having more to do with a glitch in the self-control mechanisms. Someone got it right in a funny song that calls the uncontrolled mind a, “24/7 obscene phone call.” According to wisdom traditions, it is the job of the intelligence to sort and prioritize the almost continuous flow of options being presented by the mind. Almost like a child, the mind requires constant observation and guidance. It also requires the oversight of sufficient intelligence, in order to hold it steady. This is not impossible for anyone engaged in bhakti-yoga. A yogi gains self-control over the senses as a natural result of purifying the intelligence. The yogi is said to have ‘single-minded’ intelligence and yet it requires sincere effort to achieve. In the Bhagavad Gita, it is stated that the mind is more difficult to control than the wind, yet it can be trained by constant practice and ‘detachment.’ For years and lifetimes even, we have been the slave of the mind and its focus on objects of the senses, almost relentlessly and so yoga is the way.
To begin to understand mental self-control we have to think about how the mind, an amazingly impulsive thing on some occasions, has no sense of the practical or the rational. Only the intelligence has this power of discrimination. The mind offers ideas and options every waking hour of the day and you may even find the mind “waiting for you” when you wake up in the morning. This might be called, “waking up on the wrong side of the bed.” The mind is what drags you to the chocolate cake and pizza — for breakfast. It’s that feeling, “I wanna…” even when you know perfectly well that it’s a bad idea or that, “I don’t wanna…” (go to bed, wash the dishes, exercise, etc) and yet your mind seems to (almost) have a mind of its own. On the other hand, picture intelligence as sort of ‘James Bond 007‘ that operates by way of cool, strategic analysis and deliberate plans. We often regret impulsive acts when we realize (20/20 hindsight, right?) that by engaging the intelligence, difficult choices are made easier and the outcomes, generally, are happier. Philosophers and yogis know this. Mind control is most easily accomplished by yoga practice.
It is by spiritual awareness or, as Jane Austen would say, ‘self-knowledge,’ that we come to the point of ‘single-minded’ intelligence, and we also come to the important point of a certain level of detachment. Spiritual practices, done regularly, counteract the mind’s serious attachment to sense gratification. To put it simply, yoga helps us develop the needed determination to make choices that prioritize intelligence! The only alternative is to abandon our lives to the quasi-insane mental platform–not a great plan for a good life. Here’s a story that might illustrate, in a simply way, what I mean:
I was once camping in a beautiful national park and was thinking of diving into a crystal blue mountain river. It was a perfect day and it was all gorgeous scenery. Anyone could see that a dip would be refreshing. Unfortunately, my mind was noisily protesting, “I don’t wanna!” Surely the water was cold yet so what? It was rational to seek the coolness of the water on such a warm day. Yet there was my mind…acting up and staging a protest even up to the nano-second before I hit the water. “Noooooo!” …splash! It was so amusing to get this chance to catch the mind “in the act” and what the heck was it all about? What was up with all that mental noise? It was loud. It was obnoxious. And it was the same sort of mental commotion that was going on in the minds of the many people whom I saw standing nearby. Everyone seemed to be staring at the beauty of that blue water and yet no one was going in. Finally, one man approached the river in his swimming trunks. He stood nearby, poised on the edge of the water, and obviously trying to will himself to dive in. He appeared frozen in indecision. I had just come out of the water and, seeing his predicament, I called out, “You want dive into that beautiful water, right?” He agreed without taking his eyes off the water. I began to coach him, “Pay no attention to that voice in your head.” “Just ignore it and dive in.” He thought for a moment, then he did just that! In a few minutes, and after a few more dives, he thanked me repeatedly and expressed his happiness at not missing out on the experience. To have helped another person having problems with their mind really struck me. I realized in a very personal way that all living beings have this problem of being beleaguered and paralyzed while ‘stuck’ on the mental platform. We can do something about it, too!
If nothing else, the story above is proof that the mind can be a big party-pooper and will, if unrestrained, lead us around based on impulse and immediate gratification. Just remember that the mind does not ‘think.’ This is why it can sabotage our life and even prevent happiness. The intellect is necessary for making good choices, especially when we are choosing relationships. This is a big Jane Austen theme. In Pride & Prejudice Elizabeth’s youngest sister, Lydia, sadly ruins her life by choosing the wrong man. Her parents do nothing to restrain her wildness. After month of having “nothing but flirtation and officers in her head” she is set on a course for disaster. It is true that Lydia is quite young, only 15, and she is described as having strong ‘animal’ spirits which means that her physical desires will all the more rule over her. Unfortunately she is not given instruction as to how to think ‘seriously’ on topics which will lead to a good life. It is sad to think of anyone making choices that lead to a less-than pleasant future. Many people are very sorry that Lydia makes the worst possible choice in running away with Mr. Wickham. The wise see that some choices create a sort of path of “no return” because some behaviors have enough force to irreversibly destroy our freedom of choice. In some terrible cases, people develop an addiction to drugs and can no longer choose to use them or not. We can understand then, that consistently making good choices is important to having a good life, which centers on a life of freedom.
Jane Austen wrote about making good decisions, and her novels, though entertaining, center around her heroines’ choice of friends and marriage partners. They may initially be misled by some sort of attachment to the wrong people, yet they are sure to come to the point of intelligence, and often just in time. In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett is almost duped by Mr. Wickham, who has good looks and a soft-spoken sort of manliness. Fortunately, she takes some good advice from her aunt to ‘not be in a hurry’ and this gives her just enough time to find out the truth. In contrast to Elizabeth’s cool and rational behavior, the otherwise sensible Charlotte Lucas professes ‘unsound’ ideas as to what a woman should look for in a husband and, as we find out, make no use of reason in her choice of a marriage partner. Against every finer sense of feeling, she agrees to marry the socially awkward and exceedingly irksome Mr. Collins for the sake of a guaranteed ‘comfortable’ home. She leaves all her good sense behind with this choice.
I know that some Jane Austen readers and critics will justify Charlotte’s behavior by talking about the lack of opportunities for women at that period, yet still, there is no doubt that Jane Austen did not approve of this kind of calculated approach to matrimony. We read that Charlotte was looking for man who could supply her with material stability, yet not at all interested to know the character flaws of the person she was going to marry. Her only interest was for the ‘comfortable’ home. This is blatantly nothing but a ‘taker’ mentality. In contrast, Elizabeth said that she would only be induced to marry when she had found the ‘deepest’ love. She was looking for mutual respect and friendship, not just a good situation. We are sad for Charlotte’s choice because her plan for selfish pleasure will lead her to the most impermanent happiness. This is what Elizabeth is most concerned about as she leaves the newlywed Charlotte in Kent.
“Poor Charlotte! — it was melancholy to leave her to such society! — But she had chosen it with her eyes open; and though evidently regretting that her visitors were to go, she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and all their dependent concerns, had not yet lost their charms.”
Not yet, but eventually… poor Charlotte, indeed! Thus Jane is teaching what the Gita repeatedly confirms, which is that pure love is eternal and based in reality, and therefore our best relationships on earth are not simply those which supply some temporary material comforts. The Gita also defines lower pleasures as, “having a beginning and an end.” Jane hints at the truth that loving relationships are, in fact, not ‘illusory’ when we understand that we are all spiritually connected. Reality means seeing by means of the intelligence, that souls are eternal and that material objects (including our material bodies) are unconscious and temporary and thus are not to be considered a true source of happiness. Of course, we still maintain the body nicely because it is a gift and a vehicle we use to attain spiritual consciousness and happiness.
One may ask, if the first principle according to the Bhagavad-Gita, is to practice control of the mind, then what is the exact mechanism for self-control and how does it occur? The Gita (3.43) explains that the mind, optimally, works like the reins in controlling five powerful horses, corresponding to the five senses–sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. The intelligence is the driver holding the reins and the passenger is the soul, or consciousness. In the best circumstances, the soul directs the driver-intelligence, which expertly reins in the mind so as to maintain control over the five senses. A favorite example of a consistently intelligent person appears as Mr. Knightley in the novel, Emma. This hero embodies the cool and deliberate nature of intelligence and as a friend, he steps in very regularly to correct Emma’s mischief. He stands in stark contrast with other characters, even Emma herself. Again, the important point is that in all things yoga and all things Austen, there is a balanced approach and some room to safely experiment. As when riding a horse, one cannot be perpetually pulling on the reins without driving the horse to rebellion, so there’s no need to panic if you have occasional difficulties. The idea is not to repress every normal innocent inclination. In fact, for a serious urge-repressing society, look to England’s Victorian age, which immediately followed the more relaxed Regency period. My point is that the Gita and Jane Austen’s novels promote a balanced approach. In Northanger Abbey, our heroine, Catherine Moreland, a very innocent young heroine-in-training, gets into trouble when she allows her imagination to run wild–in the Gothic style of ‘fevered imagination’– with serious suspicions about the hero’s father, General Tilney. She suffers some temporary mental anguish when the hero discovers her suspicions but she begins to understand the principle of controlling the mind (and her imagination) and all turns out well.
In any case, we may occasionally indulge in chocolate cake or even staying up a little past the usual bedtime–especially when attending a Regency ball! We only desire that as far as possible the worst consequences are, well, inconsequential. As a friend, and following in the footsteps of Mr. Knightley, I do my best to combine these teachings from the Bhagavad-Gita and Austen’s novels. I find that they compliment each other very well, even though they were composed thousands of years apart and originate from very different cultures. Please join me again soon and let me know that you do enjoy them by subscribing or leaving a comment.
Jane Austen Yoga 